https://www.happiness.com/rss/1-happinesscom-magazine.xml/rss feed happinessenhttps://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/managing-stress-and-work-tips-to-help-manage-business-stress%C2%A0-r437/Stress management is creating a healthy routine and strategies that provide a healthy way to relate and unwind. Business stress is not uncommon to us and should be taken seriously. Here are some techniques to help you manage stress. 1. Embrace Adaptability In this digital world, adaptability is key to survival. Stress often comes from resisting change and the fear of the unknown. If you are running a business, you should be open to new technologies, market shifts and ideas. For example, consider a professional website builder for online marketing, monitoring your competitors on social media, showing your audience your existence, managing your bookkeeping efficiently, and managing your business from anywhere. Embracing adaptability allows you to stay ahead and aware and easily navigate unpredictability. 2. Set hours that work for you Time management is a precious resource. Poor time management can lead to stress. Set time that works for you and works for you clients as well. If you have proper time management, you will be able to coordinate with others well, hence reducing stress. 3. Prioritize and organize. Being overwhelmed is a major trigger for stress. A great way to reduce being overwhelmed and stressed is to organize and set your priorities right. Here is how you can do that • Clarify your goals • Prioritize against goals - evaluate your important goals and start with them. • Set deadlines • Use your calendar • Focus on 2-3 things maximum • Make a to-do list 4. Focus on daily tasks rather than the overall Accomplishing daily tasks is more important than completing overall tasks. Focusing on and completing daily tasks is a good way to stay grounded and less stressed. 5. Tidy your environment. If you feel overwhelmed and stressed, the most effective way is to create a conducive and clean environment as your working space. Take charge of your environment and your feeling for control will immensely increase. 6. Form positive relationship Running a business can at times be lonely. Building a positive reliable support system is crucial for mitigating stress effectively. Having positive friends to share ideas, talk to, seek advice and encourage vulnerability can give you emotional balance. 7. Learn Healthy coping mechanisms. In the business world, healthy coping mechanism will be beneficial to you, your clients and the business at large. Avoid getting upset over small things and issues. Have a positive attitude and a better outlook for small issues. 8. Delegate and empower your team Avoid handling all task single-handedly as it can result to exhaustion and stress. Delegate duties and task to your team by giving them power over specific tasks. This will increase dedication among your staff and can increas the performance of your business. 9. Get enough sleep and eat healthy. Eat food that can fuel your brain and support your focus and concentration. Get enough sleep, lack of enough sleep increases irritability and can lead to stress. Getting enough sleep can increase the overall performance of your business. To TOP UP Take action to fix things that are triggering your stress and making you unhappy by intentionally improving your feeling of control. Managing stress is personal work and, most importantly, is about your mindset. Your attitude can greatly impact your ability to cope with your business. Have a positive mindset, focus on what you can control, take care of yourself don’t fear mistakes instead learn from them and in return you will reduce stressed caused by businesses.Mon, 13 May 2024 14:29:01 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/navigating-life/Life is seldom smooth-sailing. Sonia Vadlamani shares some helpful, research-backed ways that can make navigating through life obstacles a great deal easier... and even enjoyable! Life is hard sometimes, as we’re all aware. A random analysis of any given week would present the various hassles we often come across: a flat tire, an unexpected expense, a flu that puts a dent in your plans for the week, an incomplete to-do list – you get the picture. As a matter of fact, these challenges seem to multiply as we grow older. We assume we have it all under control, until we’re suddenly mired amidst one too many adversities and unforeseen hardships like major health conditions, loved ones suffering or passing away and the grief that follows, having to end a friendship, relationship breakdowns, to name but a few. I’m no stranger to the realization that life will always remain unpredictable despite all my thorough planning, and there will always be contingencies which I couldn’t have scheduled. For instance, I thought I had mapped out my plans for 2020 to the last detail, when COVID-19 pandemic struck, and changed my perspective about navigating through life events entirely. Not only did I have to cancel all my travel plans, but I lost an ailing grandfather who I nurtured a very affectionate relationship with. To add to my troubles, my gym, favorite hangout spots, friends and all social events we enjoyed became inaccessible due to the pandemic, leaving me feeling confused, restless and helpless. While I did still have plenty to be grateful for, life as I knew it had been altered dramatically, and I seemed to have no clue how to cope with such unprecedented times. However, in hindsight, it seems that like billions of other people throughout the world, I went about navigating through life and overcoming challenges with determination and resilience. Indeed, staying resilient and maintaining a positive disposition during a rough ride can prove to be cumbersome. Nevertheless, navigating through life becomes easier when we accept challenges as a chance to rise above our insecurities and fear of change. Navigating life: 10 helpful tips Sometimes, navigating through life with all its difficulties can seem like a daunting task. You may find yourself stuck with the feeling that you’re never good enough, or that life’s been unfair to you and you were cut a raw deal. Truth is, challenges arise in everyone’s lives, and no one can remain secure in their comfort zone for too long. But it’s entirely up to us as to how we go about to seek a happy, successful life. Here are ten science-backed rules to help us navigate through life’s challenges head-on, so we can lead happier, meaningful lives. 1. Be true to yourself Living in the digital era, it’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap and lose your sense of individuality sometimes. Indeed, authenticity in today’s technology-dominated times may seem like a risky move – especially when social media and other shaping forces in our lives, such as parents, teachers and peers may have told us to ‘fit in’ and conform – in order to feel a connection. As a result, we often hide our true selves due to the fear of rejection and judgment from others. Confronting – not avoiding – challenges is a key way to navigate life However, research suggests that authenticity is an integral part of happiness, and can boost one’s self-esteem, in addition to lowering stress levels. In fact, real, lasting connections are forged when we are true to ourselves. Indeed, cultivating your authentic self can seem challenging at first, but the rewards it enables you to reap – in the form of greater life satisfaction, strengthened interpersonal relationships, and a reinforced sense of purpose – make it all worth pursuing. 2. Confront challenges Life has a way of presenting us consistently with challenges that will assess our emotional mettle, be it in the form of injury, illness, loss, grief or an uncertain future. Accepting this can allow us to be fully present and relish the gifts we have in our lives this very moment, as we live each day with renewed appreciation, joy and lasting confidence in our own capabilities. “The happiest people I know are dedicated to dealing with the most difficult problems,” reveals Rosabeth M Kanter, founding chair of Harvard Advanced Leadership Initiative, and author of Think Outside The Building. In fact, Kanter suggests dividing our challenges into two categories: the ones we’re dealing with immediately, and those which give us a “chance to make a difference”. The latter helps us look at hurdles in a new light, making us better equipped for navigating through life with a sense of purpose. 3. Distinguish thoughts from fact Most of us are guilty of spending too much time ‘in our heads’ or being pre-occupied with our thoughts. According to research, humans are hardwired for negativity, which means that it’s natural for most of us to feel negative outcomes or emotions with a greater intensity than positive feelings. As a result, we end up navigating life with a penchant for overthinking, which can affect our mental health and stress levels adversely according to research. “Overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves.” To make matters worse, we often mistake overthinking for problem-solving. Whereas the truth is that rumination impacts our decision making, thus interfering with our problem-solving abilities. Instead of catastrophizing the challenges, you need to stop ruminating and embrace them as stepping-stones to personal growth. Acknowledging that you are not your thoughts will allow you to take control of your thoughts, and put a stop to the tedious mental chatter. 4. Change your perspective Stephen Joseph, professor of psychology and author of Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters, suggests that we change our perspective and consider challenges as “an important part of growing and developing as a person”. Indeed, overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves. Instead of living in denial in your comfort zone, we can gradually tune our minds to look at adversities as learning opportunities and face them head-on when they present themselves. Stepping back to get a better perspective, taking some time to clear your mind, and approaching the situation without rushing will enable you to gain newer insights. 5. Maintain a sense of humour Life can be a bumpy ride sometimes, and stress seems unavoidable given the daily hassles we experience, such as waiting times, unpleasant interactions with co-workers, deadlines, and failed plans. However, there is no need for a serious and skeptic demeanor all the times, and a little bit of humour and playfulness can go a long way to strengthen relationships and boost happiness levels. Infusing some humour in your daily life is a great way to prime your mind for optimism and navigate life with a positive attitude. 6. Be kind to yourself We often tend to beat ourselves up when things don’t go the way we planned. However, this cycle of self-criticism and ignoring the pain we feel seldom makes us feel any better. Compare this with how you’d treat a friend with love, kindness and encouragement when they face failure. Researcher Kristin Neff suggests that channeling self-compassion during tough times is crucial for overcoming challenges with an improved sense of connectedness and emotional balance. Indeed, being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat. 7. Persistence is key While everyone adapts differently to a challenge or an adverse situation, one rule that holds true for everyone is that it’s never too late to get back on track to achieve your goals. Avoid the temptation to give up – researchers suggest that deserting your purpose or circumventing your goals can be emotionally painful, possibly resulting in grief-related distress or even depression. Cultivating persistence pays off without fail, as long as you set realistic goals and continue to put efforts in the right direction. Stay persistent and focused on achieving your dreams 8. Remember happiness is a journey, not a destination You may have noticed how accomplishing goals makes us happy but only for a limited time, as we then move on to the pursuit of happiness in the form of the next milestone. Psychologists refer to this tendency as the ‘happiness trap’, wherein one maintains an unrealistic purview of happiness, in addition to constantly comparing their happiness levels with that of others. “Being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat.” However, researchers and philosophers stress the importance of viewing happiness as a journey not a destination that needs to be chased relentlessly. Indeed, it’s important to take the time to pause and smell some roses along the way. Navigating through life gets easier when we view happiness as a choice we can make consciously, and cultivating happy habits that can raise our well-being levels in a consistent manner. 9. Remain thoughtful, kind and gracious Difficult times warrant the need for human kindness more than ever, and it helps to treat others the same way we want to be treated. Expressing thankfulness, apologizing genuinely, complimenting others without an agenda, and offering support and encouragement in times of need helps strengthen our connection with others. Developing a reputation for being grateful, compassionate and kind can help you build lasting relationships that you can depend on whilst navigating life’s difficulties. 10. Devise and uphold your personal boundaries Personal boundaries are a measure of your self-esteem and help ensure that you aren’t vulnerable to being used or mistreated by others around you. Devising and establishing clear, strong boundaries in place helps foster trust and loyalty, thereby strengthening relationships. Healthy boundaries are not just about being able to express your views and needs assertively but are also helpful for navigating through life in a more efficient manner. Takeaway: navigating life As we all know from experience, life has its ups and downs. Most of also realize that we seek happiness, meaningful connections and fulfillment of our purpose as we navigate through it. Practising mindfulness, being accountable for your words and actions, developing an attitude of gratitude, and being present instead of worrying about the future can make navigating life easier – and more importantly – enjoyable. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Compassion | Friendship Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.Mon, 13 May 2024 06:53:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/how-to-talk-to-a-parent-with-dementia/Learning how to talk to a parent with dementia takes both resilience and time. Dee Marques shares eight key strategies to help you deal with the communication process more easily. Dementia is an incredibly cruel syndrome, and is equally hard for both the person affected by the disease and their carers. The term dementia covers a broad range of brain diseases – such as Alzheimer's – that can lead to a long-term and gradual decrease in a person's ability to think and remember things. Other symptoms include emotional problems, decreased motivation and language difficulties. Indeed, when it comes to knowing how to talk to a parent with dementia, it can be both frustrating and painful. Unfortunately, global dementia diagnoses are on the rise. According to Alzheimer’s Disease International, there’s a new dementia case diagnosed approximately every three seconds. Furthermore, the organisation estimates that the number of people affected by dementia is likely to double by the year 2050. This comes at a tremendous economic and personal cost, potentially affecting millions of families. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 key ways to reduce the risk Dealing with dementia is particularly hard when your parents are involved. Dementia symptoms put an enormous strain on the parent-child relationship, and can wreak havoc in the happiness of your family life. Unlike other serious diseases where the ability to talk and feel close to the person affected remains untouched, dementia takes away the chances of sharing, communicating and being together in a meaningful way. Maintain eye contact when talking to a parent with dementia shutterstock/Photographee.eu Learning how to deal with talking to a parent with dementia takes time and resilience, but it can be done. Here are eight suggestions on how to improve communication with parents affected by this difficult condition. How to talk to a parent with dementia: 8 top tips Being able to communicate with others is essential for every human being. Evolutionary psychologists say that the development of spoken communication played a key role in the success and survival of our species. So, since this is something deeply ingrained in us, it’s normal to feel that something important has been taken away when communication breaks down. “Learning how to talk to a parent with dementia takes time and resilience, but it can be done.” If you’re dealing with dementia in your household and feel lost, remember that we’re not born knowing how to talk to a parent with dementia. But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing we can do about it: talking to a parent with dementia doesn’t get easier, but there are certain skills and strategies that can improve communication. 1. Eliminate distractions When talking to a parent with dementia, do your best to get their full attention. People affected by dementia are easily distracted by background noise, people coming and going, etc. Moreover, moving objects can not only take their attention away but can also cause agitation. Turn off any devices – radio, TV, music – and move to a quieter place. Avoid sudden movements or changes in your tone of voice. 2. Keep it simple Keep conversations around one idea only to make things easier to process for your parent. If you need to repeat yourself, stick to the same wording. Studies on how to talk to a parent with dementia suggest you use one verb per sentence and ask yes/no questions whenever possible. Otherwise, as this nurse says, “it becomes very hard for them to follow a complex conversation”. 3. Non-verbal communication When talking to a parent living with dementia, one of the most important things to remember is that communication doesn’t only depend on spoken language. In fat, people with dementia are receptive to other ways of communicating, such as body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and physical contact. However, they are still sensitive to non-verbal communication, so make sure you’re not “contributing to the situation by telegraphing your anger, resentment, and frustration through your body language”. Consider physical contact when talking to a parent with dementia 4. Be specific One of the most common signs of dementia is the inability to remember the names of people and places. Make it easier for a parent with dementia and always spell out the name of the people or places you talk about, instead of using vague words that may confuse them (he, she, here or there). Also, depending on the level of their dementia, consider using your parent’s name and start the conversation telling them your name and who you are. 5. Anticipate Watch out for gestures that could come across as intimidating or threatening. Avoid talking with a parent with dementia from a position where they can’t see you. Make sure lighting is good enough so that your face isn’t obscured. It’s always a good idea to position yourself at their eye level, sitting in front or next to them (but not too close) and maintaining good eye contact throughout the conversation. “Talking to a parent with dementia doesn’t get easier, but there are certain skills and strategies that can improve communication.” 6. Give them time It takes longer for a person with dementia to process information, so speak at a slower pace than normal and pause between sentences. Another important aspect of how to talk to a parent with dementia is to give them plenty of time to respond without showing impatience. 7. Use visual cues Visual cues can help when figuring out how to talk to a parent with dementia, as they simplify the decision-making process. For example, instead of asking which coat they want to wear or what they’d like to eat, show them the options. It’s also important to limit the choices to avoid your parent becoming overwhelmed. As the Mayo Clinic staff recommends, "simplify the decisions you expect him or her to make”. 8. Try again later Knowing what to do when things get tough is one of the challenges when learning how to talk to a parent with dementia. If your parent is struggling to communicate, it’s best to pause and try again in 20-30 minutes, instead of insisting or creating confrontation. Talking to a parent with dementia: what not to say Knowing what not to say to a parent with dementia is just as important as knowing what to say. Avoid saying these things at all cost, however frustrated you may get: “I’ve just told you that” or “you've already said that”. “You’re wrong” or anything that challenges them. “(someone) is dead”. “You can’t do that” or anything that questions their abilities. “Do you know who I am?” or “do you remember X”? “What did you do today?” or any question that requires a long-winded or detailed account. Sentences that may look harmless to us may take on a different meaning and could cause negative reactions when talking to a parent with dementia. Conclusions Communicating with a parent who has dementia is often stressful and heartbreaking, but it can be as frustrating for the parent as it is for you. Sometimes, you may feel out of depth figuring how to talk to a parent with dementia, but it’s still possible to find moments of joy and happiness. The main points to remember are avoiding confrontation and distraction, making conversation easier by keeping things short and simple, and supporting what you say with visual cues and positive body language. Patience and empathy are key when talking to a parent with dementia. And remember: you’re not alone in dealing with this. ● Looking for advice or support from other happiness.com members around dealing with dementia in a parent? Search our forum to look for a discussion, and if there isn't one, take the first step and start one. Main image: shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn and self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Parenting | Acceptance | Family activities | Empathy | Forgiveness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Mon, 13 May 2024 06:52:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/mindful-listening/If you struggle to give your full attention to others when in conversation, mindful listening can help you improve your conversation skills. Dee Marques explains six ways to develop the practice and the benefits so-called 'deep' or 'active' listening can bring. Have you ever been chatting with a friend and realised they were not really not giving you their full attention? Perhaps their eyes were darting off away from yours, or they were fiddling with their mobile phone whilst pretending to listen? Likewise, maybe you’ve been in conversation with someone, nodding and smiling, but in your head you were actually planning what you were going to make for dinner that night? If these scenarios sound familiar, then you could definitely benefit from practising what's known as mindful listening or deep listening. You see, there are so many distractions in everyday life that many of us feel that it’s increasingly hard to pay attention to what others are saying. Indeed, researchers have found that the human attention span is actually decreasing, and many people find it hard to concentrate on a conversation without their minds wandering to other matters. So, if you’re struggling with this, it may be time to consider what can be done to sharpen your mindful listening skills. So, what is mindful listening? Mindful or 'deep' listening is a way of applying the principles of mindfulness to personal interactions. These principles include: Focusing all our attention in the present and finding purpose in it. Being fully in the present, with all our senses engaged in the experience we’re living. Suspending judgement on the things we come across, as a judgmental attitude is a major distraction and an obstacle to being able to pay attention. One of the ultimate goals of mindful listening is training our brain to mute thoughts that compete for our attention while we’re in conversation. This is so we can truly hear the message behind someone's words. Having a better awareness of the present and a non-judgmental attitude can help us become better listeners. Indeed, this is the essence of mindful listening. Give your full attention to listening mindfully shutterstock/fizkes How to practise mindful listening: 6 tips To develop the skill of mindful listening, most of us will need to train our brains to focus on what the person in front of us is saying. Here are six steps to help you on your way and improve your communication skills. 1. Start with the right intention The first step on the path to developing your mindful listening skills is to become more aware of the patterns that make our minds wander. Don’t expect to become a pro at mindful listening right from the start. When in conversation, remind yourself of your intention to give the other person your undivided attention, or pick a few conversations every day where you can commit to doing that. 2. Remove distractions We’re all different, so there will be other things that cause distractions for you, but common causes are mobile phones and notifications, being hungry or feeling tired. Start by putting your mobile phone away and ignoring it – don't be tempted to get it out and start scrolling. Only answer a call if it is truly essential. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools However, if you really can’t ignore the things that distract you, it’s better to reschedule the conversation and explain that you’d rather meet when you can give the other person your full, undivided attention. 3. Listen with purpose Many of us are used to getting into conversations without thinking about the real purpose of them. We also tend to hurry the other person to come up with a reply when we're chatting with them rather than allowing space to consider a response. However, taking the time to reflect and consider what we’re going to say is one of the main components of mindful listening. “Having a better awareness of the present and a judgmental attitude can help us become better listeners. That is the essence of mindful listening.” So, why not try listening for the sake of listening? Once you start to practise mindful listening, you may find that you have nothing to say in response to someone right away. Or maybe the only thing you can do is acknowledge what you’ve heard and empathize with the other person. Don’t stress about not responding to a friend and remember that the purpose is to listen and be in the present. 4. Don’t cut in If you find yourself interjecting with your own opinion, apologize and allow the person to return to what they were saying. Try to be more conscious about not interrupting people. Likewise, providing space for the speaker to pause mid-conversation is also important: they may simply be collecting their thoughts together before making another point. Don’t jump in mid-flow. Mindful listening means making sure the person you are chatting with has the chance to express themselves fully. 5. Show that you're listening Mindful listening is not only about using your ears. Indeed, use your eyes and other body language to show whoever you're talking with that you are really paying attention. So, maintain eye contact at all times and nod and smile, encouraging them to express themselves fully. Showing that you are listening mindfully in this way demonstrates that you are emotionally involved in the communication. Eye contact and smiling is a sign of mindful listening shutterstock/Aleksandra Suzi 6. Don’t make assumptions Assumptions are a major interference with our ability to communicate and understand other people. Because our mind often wanders off while the other person is still talking, we may not get the full picture (or the full meaning), which can lead to miscommunication and incorrect assumptions. Make a conscious effort to listen until someone has finished talking. Then, double check you’ve understood correctly, or repeat their message back in your own words. Mindful listening: the benefits Mindful listening has great personal and interpersonal benefits. By making a genuine effort to listen without judging, we can learn more about ourselves and become aware of our prejudices or areas where we could improve the quality of our communication. Over time and with practise, this kind of self-awareness will make us better listeners and better communicators. Because of the effort required to re-train our brain to listen mindfully, you may notice that you’re also able to concentrate better in other aspects of your everyday life. For example, you may become more productive at work or get more benefits from your meditation practice. “Mindful listening is not only about using your ears. Use your eyes and other body language to show whoever that you are really paying attention.” As for the interpersonal benefits, clearly one of the greatest advantages of mindful listening is being able to nurture better relationships with others and to make every interaction richer. And because mindful listening is a rare quality, people will notice and appreciate it, and may be more inclined to share things with you or to seek your company. Listening mindfully can help us create more genuine connections as we enter every conversation with the purpose to listen and understand the other person. The takeaway: mindful listening Mindful listening is an exercise in empathy and self-awareness that can improve the quality and depth of our relationships with others. Practising it will take re-training our brain to focus in the present and in the meaning of what’s being said. And although it may be difficult at first, the results are well worth it. Mindful listening can make us more self-aware, more focused, and able to build richer interpersonal relationships and a more fulfilling life. ● Main image: shutterstock/Shchus happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Friendship | Kindness | Compassion Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Mon, 13 May 2024 06:16:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/eleven-science-backed-ways-feel-stress-free-fast/The global pandemic, political turmoil, and now the ongoing cost-of-living crisis has left many of us feeling increasingly stressed, anxious and upset. With that in mind, Dee Marques shares 11 practical tips to feel stress-free quickly – all backed by science. Stress is one of the biggest health challenges we face today. While a small amount of positive stress can be good for us, ongoing chronic stress can lead to or exacerbate many serious health problems. And with Coronavirus still testing the health and well-being of the globe, it's become increasingly difficult to remain free from stress, with many of us noticing our anxiety levels are on the rise. Indeed, in the US, more than 55 per cent of people claim to feel stressed during the day, a figure that’s well above the global average (35 per cent). Meanwhile, in the UK, nearly 75 per cent of adults say they have felt overwhelmed by stress at some point over the past year. In fact, stress isn't “just stress”, since it affects both our mental and physical health. Studies show a close link between stress and mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. Other side effects of unmanaged stress include anger, low self-esteem, loneliness and poor memory. As for its potential impact on the body, stress can cause anything from headaches to digestive disorders, insomnia, skin and hair problems, and increased chances of developing heart conditions. 11 ways to feel stress-free fast Since stress is so widespread, you may wonder if it really is possible to become free from stress. While that may seem hard to achieve, there are definitely things you can do to reduce your stress and anxiety levels that do not require a great deal of time or money. Here are 11 ideas you can try to reduce stress and start to feel calm quickly. 1. The power of houseplants One of the simpler (and more enjoyable) steps you can take is creating a stress-free environment. We can’t always do that at large scale, but there are little things you can do in you home and personal working space. Indoor plants, as humble as they may seem, have become increasingly popular recently and for good reason – they can boost enormously your ability to cope with stress. In fact, a Japanese study compared the feelings produced by transplanting a plant vs working on a computer. The result showed that while the group who worked on a computer had higher blood pressure, those who interacted with plants felt calm and soothed. Indeed, adding indoor plants to your home environment can make a world of a difference and help you to become stress-free. Plants may reduce blood pressure and stress levels shutterstock/Amilao 2. Breathing techniques Our bodies react to stress by going into overdrive. Studies confirm a link between slow controlled breathing and the nervous system: taking deep breaths reminds the brain that it’s time to calm down, and then the brain sends the same message to the body to stabilize the heart rate and release tension in the muscles. If you’re not familiar with the benefits of controlled breathing, it’s time to explore some techniques that can help you control anxiety and help you feel stress-free. Check out the final tip in our article on mindful behavior for a great breathing technique that will relax you within seconds and feel your melt away. 3. Physical activity Exercise causes a spike in endorphins, one of the happiness hormones. To achieve a stress-free state, the key is to engage in physical activity regularly. The type and frequency of exercise depends on your preference and overall health status, but as a guideline, a Finnish medical study found that moderate aerobic exercise was best for higher endorphin levels. “Adding indoor plants to your home environment can make a world of a difference and help you to become stress-free.” Some types of moderate exercise that can bring relief include cycling, brisk walking, dancing and water aerobics. The impact of COVID-19 means we can't do all of these right now, but still try and do some form of exercise in your home or garden to keep your spirits up and mental health in check. RELATED: Mindful running – 6 tips to get you started 4. Body relaxation To become stress-free fast, add a mix of mood-boosting exercise with calming relaxation techniques. Relaxation methods like tai chi, meditation, yoga, or mindfulness have been practised for centuries. Consciously relaxing your body, or even parts of it, can slow down your heart rate, lower stress hormone levels, and boost confidence in your ability to cope with problems. Some techniques you want to try include progressive muscle relaxation, massage therapy, qi gong, and ashtanga yoga. 5. Experiment with essential oils Aromatherapy has been around for thousands of years. Even in Ancient Egypt people were aware of the power of aromatic herbs and their role in well-being. The organs responsible for our sense of smell are directly connected to the parts of the brain linked to emotions, so exposure to certain scents can have a positive effect on mood and help reduce anxiety. Lavender essential oil has been widely studied for its ability to induce calm, and it seems effective in the short-term treatment of anxiety and restlessness. Other essential oils to help you become free from stress include jasmine, bergamot, holy basil, rose, frankincense, vetiver and lemon balm. Aromatherapy: sniff to reduce stress shutterstock/Madeleine Steinbach 6. Create a stress-free playlist We’re only beginning to understand the power of music and how it brings stress relief. If, as 17th century playwright William Congreve said, “music has charms to soothe a savage beast”, surely it can help us reach a stress-free state too? One study compared stress levels in surgical patients who listened to music before an operation and those who didn’t, and found that those who listened to music had lower blood pressure and were said to feel less anxious. Some sounds and rhythms can be more effective than others. 7. Do nothing Feeling overwhelmed by tasks or responsibilities is one of the most common causes of stress. Sometimes, the best response is to put everything on hold and do nothing but take care of yourself: something many of us had to do during the COVID-19 pandemic. However, if doing nothing is still not an option, consider doing less or doing things at a slower pace, or doing them mindfully. Mindfulness gives you a chance to slow down, focus, and become more aware of your reactions. It has also been connected to lower activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers fear and stress responses. 8. Visualization techniques Visualization techniques can have a calming effect when stress becomes too much to handle. Immerse yourself in a scene that makes you happy and relaxed, and recreate every sensory aspect of the scene, from the smells to the sights or the sounds. By focusing on the sensory experience as a whole, you direct your attention away from sources of stress. Once that happens, your brain will also signal your body to relax. “Exercise causes a spike in endorphins, one of the happiness hormones. To achieve a stress-free state, the key is to engage in physical activity regularly.” Researchers have found that visualization (also called guided imagery) can boost mood and improve depressive symptoms in multiple sclerosis patients, so it surely can have a beneficial effect on stress too. RELATED: Visualization meditation – how to practise it 9. Share your feelings A burden shared is a burden halved, so don’t hesitate to talk someone close to you if worry begins to take over. Sharing your worries can bring a sense of relief, and scientific evidence supports this. A 2013 study found that disclosing feelings of worry and anxiety to someone sympathetic reduced levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. Sometimes you may even prefer to talk to a stranger. Talking therapy is effective in stress relief, whether it’s in person or over the phone. Talking is a therapy to become stress-free shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 10. B vitamins for stress support Did you know that certain vitamin deficiencies can lead to increased feelings of stress? A stress-free diet should be especially rich in B-complex vitamins. Some researchers suggest that these vitamins can lower homocysteine, an amino acid that spikes in stressful situations. So, it’s a good idea to revamp your meal plan to ensure it includes good amounts of vitamin B-rich foods, such as whole grains, legumes, dark leafy vegetables, seeds and nuts. Making this a habit can help lift your mood and reduce the mental fatigue brought about by stress. RELATED: The gut-brain axis 11. Honour your true self Sometimes, stress is a result of internal conflict. There are situations where we must choose between doing what we know in our hearts to be right, and pleasing others or dishonoring our core values. We all have certain values that guide our lives, so take some time to remind yourself of which are the most important to you. One of the steps towards being stress-free is resolving any tension or discrepancies between who you are and who you want to be. This is your opportunity to do just that and feel better. The takeaway: stress-free living During these tough times, try not to let stress and rising anxiety levels get in the way of your happiness. While we all experience stressful situations, there’s no reason to be overwhelmed by them, since we have multiple tools to strengthen our inner-self and become stress-free quickly. So, the next time you feel your anxiety levels rising, give some of our suggestions a try. ● Main image: shutterstock/baranq happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Stress management | Letting go | Motivation Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Mon, 13 May 2024 04:45:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/why-is-mental-health-important/Mental health is equally as important as physical health, and the stigma around depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses is finally being addressed. Dee Marques answers the question 'why is mental health important?' and has some tips on how to strengthen your mind. Mental health is a growing concern in our society, and for good reason. According to the Mental Health Foundation, more than 15 per cent of all adults will experience a mental health problem in any given week, and the figures increase to almost 25 per cent among young people. All over the world, mental health issues account for a significant percentage of the overall disease burden, and the figures seem to be on the rise. Thankfully, mental health is seen as increasingly important and in recent years is becoming destigmatized as people discuss it openly more and more. The truth is that mental health problems can affect everyone, irrespective of their age, social class, and financial situation. Being 'successful' in life does not make you immune to suffering mental health issues. While it’s easy to link success with happiness, and happiness with sound mental health, this isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. Sadly, we’re all familiar with recent high-profile suicides involving celebrities like Robin Williams or designers like Kate Spade and Alexander McQueen. They were all successful, wealthy, and accomplished, which teaches us a lesson on why mental health is important: mental illness can affect everyone, just like physical illness. RELATED: Dealing with suicide, bereavement and loss On this note, there’s a tendency to give more importance to physical health than to mental health. This bias towards the physical may be due to the fact that physical disease is more obvious, easier to spot. The medical field is concerned with problems that can be objectively measured (such as weight, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc.), but mental illness and its symptoms aren’t as visible as their physical counterparts. If anything, this makes it ever more important to be familiar with mental health warning signs and risk factors. Mental health issues can affect everyone In any case, the importance of mental health cannot and should not be underestimated. Keep reading to find out why. Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body. An Oxford University study revealed that some disorders can reduce life expectancy by up to 20 years – that’s more than heavy smoking. Others have found that people suffering from mental illness are at a higher risk of heart problems and of early death due to heart disease. The list goes on, linking poor mental health to diabetes, osteoporosis, autoimmune skin conditions, obesity, etc. Moreover, some sources describe mental health as social, psychological, and emotional well-being. When this is absent, we become less functional in our daily routine: studies show that mental illness can make us unable to hold down a job or even to get a job in the first place. “Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body.” Other studies show that mental disorders put an enormous strain on personal relationships, weakening family and friendship bonds, which in turn can make people feel isolated and worsen their symptoms. To sum it up, the importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays if we want to enjoy quality of life and happiness. Common mental health problems The most common mental health problems both in the UK and the US are anxiety and depression, which affect between 10 and 18 per cent of the population respectively. The figures are similar at global level, as it’s estimated the depression affects a staggering 300 million people worldwide. Anxiety and depression are important mental health conditions Also ranking high are bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and phobias or psychoses. It’s clear that mental health problems are widespread, and in fact, the figures could be higher, as in many cases mental health issues go unreported or undiagnosed. Factors that can affect mental health There’s no single cause of mental health issues, since different factors affect people differently, but overall we can classify risk factors into three types: Genetic/physical factors Some people are born with gene abnormalities or chemical imbalances that affect the brain function. Exposure to toxic substances or even bacterial infections are other risk factors. Environmental factors Environmental factors such as poverty or significant financial difficulties, growing up in a dysfunctional family, traumatic childhood experiences, marriage breakdown, and the loss of a loved one. Belonging to vulnerable groups Vulnerable groups such as women, ethnic minorities, homeless individuals, those struggling with addictions or substance misuse, and people with existing health problems. The variety of factors teaches us something about why mental health is important: there are so many factors involved, that no one is really immune to the risks. Mental health: important symptoms It’s important to be familiar with the warning signs of mental health issues, so you can address them in their early stages. Here are a list of some of the most noticeable mental health symptoms: Changes to sleeping and eating habits. Social withdrawal. Mood swings that affect your ability to carry on with daily tasks or your relationships with others. Increased consumption of addictive substances (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.). Inability to concentrate or to get rid of negative thoughts. Apathy. Loss of sex drive. Prolonged sadness or excessive worrying. Feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and/or useless. Thoughts of self harm. Tips to strengthen your mental health Mental health is made up of different building blocks that work together, so it’s important to target as many bases as possible. Some practical ways to maintain positive mental health include: 1. Audit your own views on mental health Suffering a mental health condition doesn’t mean you’re flawed or weak and is not a reflection of your personality. You should understand that it can happen to anyone, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 2. Build a support network with people Build a support network with people you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with and who share your views about why mental health is important. Struggling with mental health? A support network is important 3.Schedule 'me time' Take breaks and use that time productively to do things that you enjoy and that foster your creativity and sense of worth. 4. Adopt healthy daily habits From getting enough sleep to eating well. Being well rested and getting enough nutrients has a direct effect on how your brain works. Track what you eat/drink and your mood to see if you can spot any patterns. “The importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays in quality of life and happiness.” 5. Develop coping skills Skills such as being able to identify negative thoughts so they don’t snowball into mood- and health-affecting disorders. Focus on how to become stronger and more resilient to stress, life changes, other people’s comments. On that note, mindfulness and gratitude are the crucial building blocks of resilience. 6. Keep active Exercise can boost your self-esteem and have a positive effect on your physical and mental health. Choose something that’s motivating enough so you can stick to it. 7. Get professional help if you need it. Don’t let the stigma attached to mental health issues stop you from getting stronger. Fortunately, nowadays mental health issues are being openly discussed and the importance of mental health is being recognised as a top priority. There’s professional help out there, and you’re not weaker or worthless for needing it and reaching out – if anything, you’re smarter for recognising your needs and taking action. Conclusion: why is mental health important? Being aware of the importance of mental health is one of the best ways to protect and nurture your self. This is a challenging but rewarding journey, which you can start today by using the tips we described above to strengthen your mind and live a happier life. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Sound baths | Pets | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Sun, 12 May 2024 23:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/the-importance-of-community/Humans aren't meant to be alone all the time: connecting as part of a meaningful community is important for our mental well-being. Dee Marques discovers seven ways in which community belonging can benefit both you and those around you. Humans are social beings, and the need to belong is deeply ingrained in our nature. That’s why since the beginning of times humans have been drawn to creating their own communities. Today, important communities continue to be formed around different shared interests of characteristics, such as religious or spiritual groups, professional associations, neighbourhoods, volunteer groups or sports clubs. In fact, belonging to a group or community we can identify with helps us develop a stronger sense of personal and collective identity. It can also give a boost to our self-esteem and to our willingness to take on the world and make our dreams happen. But the importance of community goes beyond that. So, just why is community important? To answer the question we can look at what happens if we don’t have community we can call our own. Since we’re inherently sociable beings, feeling disconnected from others can deeply affect our self perception and emotional health. Litter picking is a powerful community action shutterstock/SpeedKingz Indeed, some studies have linked the emotional strain of loneliness caused by social isolation to physical illness, including sleep disorders, heart disease and a weakened immune system. A Public Health study done in Canada even ranked social isolation as a higher risk factor for premature death. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • Having said that, the past year or so has been a strange one for social interaction and personal relationships. On the one hand, lockdown measures and work-from-home arrangements have made it harder to meet and connect with others, so feelings of isolation and loneliness are on the rise. However, that hasn't undermined the importance of community. On the contrary, these changes have prompted many people to reconsider the significance of neighborhood feeling, bringing the concept of meaningful belonging back into the spotlight. “Belonging to a group or community we can identify with helps us develop a stronger sense of personal and collective identity. It can also give a boost to our self-esteem.” For example, during the past few months we have seen communities coming together with fundraising initiatives to help those struggling financially or otherwise. Others have learnt to sew just to be able to make PPE – such as face masks – and delivered them to those who needed them the most. The importance of community: 7 benefits it offers To understand why neighborhood action and community is meaningful and beneficial to our well-being, we can look at seven ways in which belonging to one can help us. 1. Support and safety Living with uncertainty has become the norm during the COVID pandemic. This has made it more important than ever to have a strong support network in place. Indeed, one of the main reasons behind the importance of community is that it can help fight feelings of hopelessness and give us the certainty that we are safe when surrounded by our community. Furthermore, the benefits go both ways, since supporting others also gives us a boost. 2. Connection and belonging Togetherness is so central to our experience as humans; that feeling we are part of something bigger can help give meaning to our lives. Finding others with the same values, interests, and world views makes us realise that we’re not alone and makes us feel valued. Indeed, belonging highlights why community is necessary: being accepted into a group gives us a stronger sense of self and can help us cope with negative experiences and feelings. 3. Influence Sometimes we need an extra push to stop us from falling into unhealthy habits or thoughts. Experiencing the positive influence of like-minded people is another reason behind the importance of community. Studies confirm that our overall health is partly determined by our ability to look after ourselves, but sometimes we simply don’t feel capable of it. Communities can influence us and motivate us to invest in our well-being and to bring positive changes to our lives. RELATED: Happy habits – 12 ways to boost your joy levels daily 4. Sharing Sharing activities, ideas and feelings reinforces not only our sense of self, but also adds worth and value to the community. Indeed, the more the merrier applies in this case! That’s not to mention the huge beneficial effect sharing can have on mental health: higher engagement, positive emotions, and empowerment are only some of the benefits. Sharing is caring. Support is an important community action shutterstock/Daisy Daisy 5. Learning Communities are usually built around common interests, but that doesn’t mean they’re homogeneous. We can still find people within them who have different views, experiences, or beliefs, and learning from them can help us reach insights that we may not have reached on our own. 6. Acceptance Developing community bonds with others who have different views may be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to practise acceptance. I had a personal breakthrough when I read this article and understood that acceptance doesn’t necessarily imply agreement. “One of the main reasons behind the importance of community is that it can help fight feelings of hopelessness and give us the certainty that we are safe.” This valuable lesson can bring peace and relief. And there’s another side to acceptance: self-acceptance. Community belonging helps us accept that sometimes we’re strong and sometimes we’re vulnerable and that we need the support of others to avoid unnecessary emotional struggles and pain. 7. More connections, more chances of success The importance of community goes beyond the personal sphere and extends to professional development. Since the pandemic begun we’ve seen a stronger focus on supporting local businesses, so this is a good place to start networking and building strong relationships. You never know where that could take your business idea or professional life. The importance of community action Communities are not abstract entities, so practical actions are needed to really take the importance of community further and make a difference. This is the basis of so-called community action initiatives. In fact, these are so important to society that many local authorities now have dedicated resources and invest in community building programmes. • JOIN US! Share your life story and challenges at happiness.com and make new friends • An example is the Community Organisers initiative, launched in the UK to give communities the tools to identify and solve local challenges by bringing everyone together. The Community Organisers Stafford group was aware that many people struggled to make ends meet and set up a social supermarket that was supported by local shop owners, grocery stores and volunteers. A young food bank volunteer shutterstock/HASPhotos Surplus food was donated and then sold at discounted prices that even those on a low income could afford. In just a few months, the programme was feeding more than 100 local families. It helped stigmatise financial hardship as well as remind residents that the community is there for them. On that note, it’s essential to remember that community action doesn’t need to involve grand gestures. Sometimes the best way of contributing to our community is to give: be it time, money, or kindness to others with small daily gestures. One thing is for sure: if we look around us with the intention to help, we will find ways of doing it, and in the process we will be contributing to making our community stronger. We can all do something to build meaningful human relationships and benefit from the healing power that comes with a sense of community and a richer perspective. So, why not set the goal of developing deeper bonds with others in our immediate community? Today is a good day to starting looking for or creating your own network and to begin to experience the importance and power of community. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Compassion | Friendship | Charity | Community living Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Tue, 07 May 2024 17:32:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/eight-powerful-quotes-about-worrying/Something on your mind? Excessive worry, doubt and apprehension is detrimental to your mental health. These six quotes about worrying from Calvin Holbrook should help you to realise that worrying only leads to unhappiness. Find hope and calm a busy mind. When worries and doubts plague our mind, the result can be destructive and detrimental to our mental health. In fact, excessive worrying can easily spiral into more generalized anxiety and depression. Fretting about something in the future (or the past) is something we've all done, by just how common is worrying? Well, according to a 2015 survey of 1,000 adults in the UK, 86 per cent of those that replied consider themselves as worriers. And two out of five people questioned said they worried about something every single day. The survey also showed that, on average, people spend an incredible 1 hour and 50 minutes fretting over something each day. While work-related issues hit the top spot on the fear factor, concerns about money, being late, and health issues also ranked highly. And while more than a third (34 per cent) claimed to be happy to discuss their concerns with others, around a quarter admit they keep their worries to themselves. It's then when deeper problems can arise. It's always a good idea to chat with someone about your worries – a friend or a stranger – but if you can't, these quotes about worrying may help you to change perspective and free your mind. Quotes about worrying: 6 powerful sayings 1. “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia This quote on worrying from American author and motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia is one you may have already heard of. Indeed, it’s one of the most well-known sayings when it comes to the subjects of fear and apprehension. Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose. Indeed, worrying over something will only steal time that you could be using in the present – time you could be solve your problem or to do something productive that could be boosting your happiness instead of depleting it. In fact, if you are worrying about something that happened in the past, something going on now, or something in the future, then you are not living mindfully and therefore limiting your chances of joy. So, learnt to stop worrying and stop wasting your precious time. 2. “There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened.” Michel de Montaigne This worry quote from French philosopher Michel de Montaigne is another popular saying about anguish and doubt. In it, de Montaigne explains that worries are generally just that – worries – but that they are given so much attention and time in our mind that they almost become 'real' events, when, in fact, they are just thoughts. Indeed, the vast majority of the time, the things people are worrying about do not come true – some studies suggest even up to 90 per cent of the time. Furthermore, in cases where those fears and worries do come to fruition, the outcome is generally better than what was initially expected! So, the moral of the story? Stop creating scenarios in your mind from developing into events when they are just thoughts. 3. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard This worry quote from American writer, artist and philosopher Elbert Green Hubbard is all about the fear of taking risks. Worrying about what may – or may not – happen can sometimes stop us from moving on with our lives or taking chances that we are offered. RELATED: The time is now – how to stop worrying about the future This quote around fear could relate to something as small deciding what to choose to eat from a menu or it could refer to a more extreme life change, such as taking a job in a new country. Many people let their fears and worries block them from moving forward in life. But if you’re continually fearful of the future and making decisions, this can lead to missed opportunities and regret later down the line. It's better to stop worrying about making mistakes and go ahead and take a chance if you're considering it: taking a new opportunity or risk could work out in your favour. And, well, if not, then you will always have the chance to learn from any mistake or situation that doesn't go to plan. 4. “Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” Winston Churchill Celebrated UK prime minister Winston Churchill is the source of our next quote about worrying, and it’s a useful lesson. With his words he is basically telling us what we already know: worrying never gets you anywhere – it’s better to use your time constructively and make a plan of action to deal with what’s bothering you. For example, if you’re worrying because you have too many things to do and don’t have a clue where to begin, instead of developing anxiety about it all, write down what you have to do on paper. Then you can 'see’ it more clearly and start prioritizing your tasks in a 'to-do' list. “Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose.” Similarly, if your fears are more tangible and you’re worrying about making a decision on something one way or another, make a list on paper of all the pros and cons before making a final choice. Writing worries down and making a plan of action is a way of taking the worry outside of your head and converting energy from worry to action. Churchill’s advice should help you to reduce worrisome thoughts, make a decision and move on with your life. 5. “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” Olin Miller American author Olin Miller is behind this quote about worrying, and I'm sure it’s one many of us can relate to. Worry itself can revolved around many subjects – financial, health, relationship, parenting, getting older, etc – the list is endless. But some of the top worries we have as humans relates to what other people think about us. This is often in terms of our personality, relationships, being attractive enough, our looks, dress sense, etc. RELATED: 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes It’s human nature to want to be loved and feel acceptance. However, this can often lead to people worrying excessively about what others think about them. In fact, science shows this is waste of time as humans spend the majority of our time not thinking about other people, but – you guessed it – about ourselves. Indeed, in 1997, Dunbar, Marriott et al found that 78 per cent of human conversations involved talking about ourselves and our perceptions of the world. Test the theory and ask yourself how often you think about others. Think back to the last time you were at the supermarket, on public transport or simply walking down the street. Try to recall one detail about another person you encountered in any of those scenarios. Not easy, is it? That’s because we’re pretty much all thinking about ourselves and our issues most of the time. So, as this quote on worrying suggests, stop fretting about what other people think about you because – most of the time – they definitely are not. 6. “If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” Roy T. Bennett This quote on worry from author Roy T Bennett is all about mindfulness and how living in the present is our only chance for happiness. Worrying about the future can be destructive, but, similarly, raking over past events that we cannot change is bad for our mental health too. Know as rumination, this element of OCD is unhealthy and can in turn lead to depression (learn more on how to stop ruminating). RELATED: 7 powerful quotes on resilience Practising mindfulness helps us to stay in the present moment, fully embracing and experiencing every passing moment. Staying mindful as much as possible helps to keep worries about the future or past at bay, giving less chance for fear and anxiousness to infiltrate the mind. • Main image: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic We hope these quotes on worrying will help you to deal with any doubts about the future or anguish from the past in a healthier and productive way. If you're feeling suicidal, please reach out to someone on one of these global helplines. You can also discuss depression, worry and anxiety with happiness.com members in our forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Acceptance | Body positivity | Resilience | Meditation Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes collage artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.Sun, 05 May 2024 17:13:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/why-volunteering-is-important-benefits/Are you considering volunteering? It's an important way to help individuals and communities in need. And, as Calvin Holbrook writes, the benefits of this altruistic act are proven by science. With most of us leading super busy lives, the idea of volunteering – giving your time and energy to a cause without financial reward – may seem an impossible task. I mean, how can we fit anything else into our already jam-packed schedules? However, volunteering is important for many reasons and doesn't have to take up too much time. And, in fact, the benefits of volunteering are vast for the volunteer – not just the community, individual or organization receiving their assistance. Indeed, it's these benefits that could partly explain the rise in popularity of volunteering over the past few years. During 2012-13, 29 per cent of adults in England, UK, said they had formally volunteered at least once a month. The figure in the United States is not far off, at around 25 per cent (with slightly more women volunteering than men). Promisingly, an increasing number of these people are young adults. In the UK, figures show that 2.9 million people in the 16 to 25-year-old age group volunteered during 2015, compared to 1.8 million in 2010: that’s a whopping 50 per cent increase. So, why the interest in volunteering? The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that the essence of life is “to serve others and do good,” and it seems an increasing number of us are starting to wake up and see why volunteering is important. People are starting to understand how serving and helping each other and different communities benefits not just others but ourselves, too. Why is volunteering important? Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community. Indeed, many organziations and charities rely on the generosity of volunteers as often they’re only part-funded through government or local councils, and cannot afford to pay salaries for all their staff. In fact, many companies depend almost solely upon teams of volunteers to help them thrive and do their work. So, what are the benefits of volunteering? Of course, the benefits of volunteering for those receiving help are clear. Whether it’s providing kids in a Third World country with free English classes or litter picking at your local beach, the benefits to the receiver and the wider community are usually part of the reason why you decide to volunteer in the first place. But did you realise just how important volunteering could be for the person doing it? In fact, volunteering is beneficial to the doer for a whole host or reasons, including stress reduction, combating depression and providing a sense of purpose. “Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community.” And while studies do show that the more you volunteer, the more benefits you’ll experience, volunteering doesn’t have to involve a long-term commitment. Even giving in simple ways can help those in need and improve your overall health and happiness. So, let’s take a closer look at just why volunteering is important with seven key benefits of this altruistic act. 1. Volunteering connects you with others If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and often fun – way to meet new people. In fact, one of the best ways to make new friends and strengthen existing relationships is to commit to a shared activity together, and volunteering lets you do just that. Volunteering is an important connection tool. © Professional/Shutterstock If you’ve recently moved to a new city or country, volunteering is an important and easy way to meet new people and it also strengthens your ties to that local community and broadens your support network. Furthermore, it connects you to people who have common interests and passions and who could go on to become great friends. RELATED: The importance of community – 7 key benefits In fact, volunteering is an important and interesting way to meet people who you might not normally connect with: people from different age groups, ethnicities or social groups. Because volunteering is open to everyone, it allows you to meet a wide variety of people from all sorts of walks of life, something that can only open your eyes further. 2. Volunteering builds self-confidence and self-esteem Doing good for others and the community helps to create a natural sense of accomplishment. And working as a volunteer can also give you a sense of pride and identity, helping to boost your self-confidence further by taking you out of your natural comfort zone and environment. Indeed, volunteering helps you to feel better about yourself, which you can then take back to your ‘regular’ routine, hopefully creating a more positive view of your own life and future goals. If you’re shy or fearful of new experiences, cultures and travel, volunteering overseas could be an important and insightful way to help you build self-confidence in this area too (not forgetting the other benefit of this type of volunteering – a chance to see a bit of the world at the same time!). • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect to a caring community • Research shows that volunteering could be particularly useful and important in boosting the self-esteem and confidence of adolescents who are just starting out on their life journey. A 2017 study from the University of Missouri and Brigham Young University that included almost 700 11- to 14-year-olds examined how sharing, helping and comforting others affected self-confidence. The study found that altruistic behaviors may indeed raise teens' feelings of self-worth and that adolescents who assisted strangers reported higher self-esteem one year later. “If you’re feeling lonely or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and fun – way to meet new people.” And a National Youth Agency report seemed to corroborate this evidence. In it, young people aged 11 to 25 “repeatedly stressed that volunteering had increased their self-confidence, self-esteem and self-belief.” This self-confidence boost was shown to be strongly linked to improved communication skills, especially amongst young volunteers who were previously nervous about meeting new people. 3. Volunteering is important for physical health... Interestingly, volunteering has distinct health benefits that can boost your mental and – perhaps more surprisingly – physical health. Indeed, a growing body of evidence suggests that people who give their time to others might benefit from lower blood pressure and a longer lifespan. A 1999 study showed that ‘high volunteers’ (helping out at two or more organizations) had a 63 per cent lower mortality rate than non-volunteers. And more recent research (2013) from Carnegie Mellon University found that adults over 50 who volunteered regularly were less likely to develop high blood pressure (hypertension) compare to non-volunteers. Hypertension is an important indicator of health as it contributes to stroke, heart disease and premature death. Volunteering has many important health benefits © shutterstock/Dragon Images Lead study author Rodlescia Sneed said that carrying out volunteer work could increase physical activity among those who aren’t normally very active, and that it could also reduce stress: “Many people find volunteer work to be helpful with respect to stress reduction, and we know that stress is very strongly linked to health outcomes.” Importantly, volunteers seem to notice these health benefits too. Indeed, a 2013 study from UnitedHealth Group and the Optum Institute of over 3,300 U.S. adults revealed that 76 per cent of those in the United States who volunteer said it makes them feel physically healthier. Also, around 25 per cent said that volunteering had been important in helping them manage a chronic health condition. 4. ...and mental health When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. It can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety. Indeed, the social contact aspect of helping others can have a profound effect on your overall psychological well-being. Volunteering keeps you in regular contact with others and helps you develop a solid support system, which in turn combats against feelings of loneliness and depression. Volunteering with animals has also been shown to improve mood while reducing stress and anxiety. The social aspect of volunteering boosts mental health © Rawpixel/Shutterstock Finally, volunteering boosts mental health simply because carrying out an altruistic act makes you happier; the so-called 'helper's high'. Human beings are hard-wired to give to others, and by measuring so-called brain activity and happiness hormones, researchers have found that being helpful to others can deliver great pleasure. RELATED: The power of kindness A 2008 study from the London School of Economics examined the relationship between volunteering and happiness in a large group of American adults. The researchers found that the more people volunteered, the happier they were. Compared with people who never volunteered, the odds of being ‘very happy’ rose seven per cent among those who volunteer monthly and 12 per cent for those who volunteer every two to four weeks. 5. Volunteering is important for a sense of purpose Because volunteering means choosing to work without receiving monetary compensation, people often choose to give their time to issues or organisations they feel are important or have a special connection to. For example, if you're a big animal lover you may want to volunteer at a pet shelter. Or, perhaps you’ve living with or have recovered from an illness and want to dedicate some of your spare time to a charity that helps others living with the same condition. Volunteering like this helps address a social problem that is meaningful to you and in turn helps to build a sense of purpose, which furthermore boosts your own happiness. “When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. It can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety.” You can try volunteering at any age to help build a sense of purpose, but it’s often particularly common in older adults – those that have retired or maybe lost a partner of friends. Whatever your age of life story, volunteering can be an important technique to help give your life new meaning and direction! 6. Volunteering helps you forget your own problems One other benefit of volunteering is that focusing on others can give us a deeper sense of perspective and help distract us from negative thoughts and help stop rumination. Volunteering often involves helping those in need and can be useful in showing us that, in fact, our own lives are not as bad as we thought they were. 7. Volunteering is important for your career In an increasingly competitive job market, volunteering experience can be incredibly useful. It shows potential employers that you can take initiative and that you’re willing to give your own time to improve the world for other people. • JOIN US! Volunteer and shine your light at happiness.com • Furthermore, volunteering gives you the opportunity to practice important common skills used in the workplace, such as communication, teamwork, problem solving, planning and organization. Indeed, if you haven’t had a full-time job before then volunteering is an essential way to prove your skills when you do go for work interviews. Boost job prospects as a volunteer © shutterstock/Monkey Business Images Also, if you’ve just graduated or looking for your first job, volunteering is an important and relatively easy way to get a foot in the door of a company you’d like to work with. Even if there's no immediate chance of employment afterwards, volunteering can help you to make connections for the future. RELATED: Six steps to real happiness at work Alternatively, if you’ve already had jobs and are considering a change of direction, volunteering is an important and fun way to try out different career options, especially if you’re not quite sure of where you want to go next. Indeed, volunteering offers you the chance to try out a new career without making a long-term commitment! Conclusions: the importance of volunteering It's clear the benefits of volunteering are huge – improved physical and mental health, new friends and avoiding loneliness, a sense of purpose and deeper self-confidence. In turn, all of these things will help to boost your overall happiness: a win-win situation for all involved. If you're considering volunteering, ask yourself a few questions before taking the plunge. Firstly, really think about which causes you're passionate about – it means you're more likely to enjoy and stay committed to the work. Secondly, are you looking for regular volunteering opportunities or would you prefer a one-off project? Thirdly, what skill set can you offer and what can you hope to gain from volunteering? Good luck when you finally get going, and make sure you have fun – volunteering is important – the benefits are clear – but it's important to enjoy it too! • Main image: Rawpixel/Shutterstock Have you ever or do you still volunteer now? What are the benefits for you? What did you enjoy most about it? The happiness.com community would love to hear your story below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, makes art and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!Fri, 03 May 2024 09:05:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/i-have-no-friends/Making new friends as an adult isn't as difficult as it seems. So, if you've ever thought 'I have no friends', these six tips from Ed Gould will boost your buddy count and your happiness too. The nature of friendship changes over time. When you’re a kid and at school, you learn how to make friends. And even if you struggle to make long-lasting friendships, you learn how to get along with your schoolmates, for better or worse. I’m lucky enough to still have friends that I first met at pre-school, but I think that's quite unusual. In fact, although adolescence is a time when some youngsters struggle with having no friends at all for a period, it's in our teenage years that many people make their most long-lasting friendships. At this time we start to be a little more discerning about who we are, who we get along with, and what we get out of our friend relationships. The shared experience of school days certainly plays its part, but by the time you’re 15 or 16, you’re more likely to hit it off with friends who share your interests and life passions. However, making friends with new people once you’re in adulthood is undoubtedly harder. Indeed, a 2016 study from Finland found that we make increasing numbers of new friends up until the age of 25. After that age, the numbers begin to fall rapidly, gradually decreasing over the duration of a person’s life. But it doesn't have to be this way. So, if you’ve moved, lost friends for whatever reason, or feel isolated from your social circle because of differing lifestyles, what can you do to improve your friend count? Feel you have no friends? Here's what to do Life changes our friendships and you cannot maintain all those that you had in childhood. People drift away from one another when they don't see each other regularly (even if you have the knack of picking up successfully from where you left off). But the power of friendships is important: they can help maintain our mental and physical health. Indeed, these days, scientific research has so much more to tell us about the damaging nature of loneliness. Of course, feeling lonely can impact on children as well as adults, but it certainly affects grown-ups who have a lifestyle that makes it hard to meet new people and make friends. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • According to Harvard University, loneliness is a serious issue that should be regarded as a public health problem like STDs. In fact, having no friends could affect your physical health: a 2015 study found that having strong social connections boosts physical health, as you are less likely to be obese or be living with high blood pressure. Government research from the UK has found that 200,000 people there have not had a meaningful conversation with anyone for over a month. Indeed, most GPs see several people every day who are dealing with the symptoms of loneliness. According to MIND, loneliness can lead to mental health deterioration which, in turn, tends to make you feel more isolated. Of course, this can result in a spiral of loneliness unless you take active steps to counter it. This is where knowing how to make new friends as an adult is such a useful skill. So if you’re one of those people who’s ever said or thought ‘I have no friends’, here are some ways to bring new people into your life and feel happier. 1. Ensure that you're open to new friends If you believe you have few or no friends, then it's first worth considering why. Do you perhaps unintentionally push people away or appear aloof? Do you make the effort to stay in touch with people? Are you always turning down invitations because you are nervous of social situations? Being mindful of your behaviour is an essential starting point. No friends? Don't sit on the fence! Chat to your neighbours © shutterstock/Pressmaster Indeed, it's true that as humans we let friendship opportunities pass us by every day: we can be too shy, too awkward or just unaware to grab them. Try to develop the courage to change that: learn to recognize potential friendships leads and actively follow them. For example, instead of just saying 'hi' to a neighbour, invite them in or pop out for a coffee. If you get served by the same person over and again at your local supermarket, engage in conversation with them – you might have more in common than you think. Indeed, you’ll be surprised by how many potential friends there already are in your immediate orbit! Having awareness is key. 2. Connect with existing contacts Of course, in the combat against loneliness, you could always pick up the phone to an old friend you haven't made contact with for a while. Indeed, some of our oldest friends may be in a similar position and only too willing to rekindle a friendship. Don't remain aloof from old friends or turn down too many social invitations. However, this advice is not exactly the same as knowing how to make new friends as an adult, something that means putting yourself out there a little. 3. Use modern technology – the right way If you feel like you don’t have any friends, there are plenty of apps and social media platforms that you can use to allow people to connect with one another, but you need to use the right ones and in the right way. Twitter, Facebook and Instagram may be a way for people to self-promote and offer up details of the minutiae of their lives – and even been said to isolate people further – but there are some very different apps out there specifically designed to help nurture new friendships. Hey! Vina is a good one for socially isolated mums, for example, as is Peanut. Huggle is another established social media platform that helps strangers to connect with one another, too. You could also create a social event on a platform like Facebook and invite your online acquaintances to meet up in person, a great tip for reconnecting with old friends as well as making new ones. “If you think you have no friends then it's first worth considering why. Do you perhaps push people unintentionally or appear aloof?” And, of course, our very own website, happiness.com, is an excellent place to connect with others on a similar wavelength and perhaps find a deeper sense of community. You can create a profile and find new friends based around your interests. Perhaps you're interested in astrology, spirituality or non-duality, and have struggled to find others that share your passion? Simply add your interests and you can reach out to others that are into the same things. Our happiness forums are also a quick way to share ideas and engage in discussions with people you may want to connect with more deeply. You will find threads on all areas of modern life and well-being, such as mental health, conscious living, sexuality, Buddhism, etc. A great place to start finding your way is in our introduction circle threads. Sign up easily hitting the banner below! 4. Make friends at work If you think you have no friends, one of the best ways you can make new ones as an adult is to mix more with people you work with. If you disappear quickly at the end of the working day or don't join for team lunches then you won't establish new friendships with people you could be genuinely hitting it off with. Make time to socialize with co-workers and get involved with company events, even if it’s just a few drinks after work. Sadly, if you are now remote or home working due to the effects of the pandemic, you might have to skip this idea for now! • JOIN US! Join the caring happiness.com community and make new friends • 5. Volunteer If you're currently unemployed, then you can find new friends by getting involved in your local community though volunteering. Becoming a volunteer is one of the quickest and most useful ways of coming into contact with a lot of potential new buddies. Furthermore, you are more likely to already have something in common if you are working towards a shared goal or cause. In fact, aside from making new connections, the benefits of volunteering are many, and your work with other people will also be of benefit to society in some way. No friends? Then volunteer and make new mates as an adult © shutterstock/Syda Productions 5. Join groups One thing that puts off adults making new friends is that they think it was easy in childhood and so will be difficult as an adult. Actually, often it really wasn’t, and it was only the shared experience of school that made those friendships come to be. If you join a group, you will have a similar shared experience in which friendships can be formed naturally. Crucially, it doesn't matter what the group does or is for. Book reading, sports clubs, woodworking discussion groups and informal mums networks are all as useful as each other. Just pick something that you’re passionate about or interested in trying. According to Psych Central, finding other people like you is incredibly useful for fending off loneliness. You can always combine the previous tip and use technology: MeetUp is a great online resource to join groups in your local area. 6. Walk a four-legged friend According to the British Heart Foundation, walking a dog is not just a good idea for getting the blood flowing and releasing endorphins in your brain that leave you feeling more positive, it can help you make new friends, too. It suggests that you don't even need your own pet – you could borrow a dog from a family member or a neighbour, perhaps offering to take it for walks while they’re on holiday is a great start. “Learn to recognize potential friendships leads and follow them. For example, instead of just saying hi to your neighbour, invite them in or pop out for a coffee.” When you're out and about with a pooch, you're much more likely to get into conversations with other people, especially other dog walkers. Take your dog out at the same time so you bump into the same people regularly. You could even go one step further and join a dog walking group or set up your own! If you don’t want to commit to getting your own dog or prefer not to ask your neighbours, consider signing up to a dog sitting/walking site such as Rover – one more benefit is that you could get paid for it, too! Paws for thought: a furry friend can help you meet new people! The takeaway: I have no friends There are many ways for making new ones, no matter what your age is. It’s never easy to establish completely new friendships, especially if you’re naturally shy. That said, the effort is definitely worth it and many friendships forged in adulthood can be rewarding, both psychologically and in terms of sheer companionship. So, if you’ve ever thought ‘I have no friends’, remember that you can turn things around, but the onus is on you to do it. Also, make sure you follow up regularly with the new people you meet to maintain the friendship: drop them a message to say you had a great time and suggest that you meet up again soon in the future. • Main image: shutterstock/rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Resilience | Confidence | Authenticity | Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.Thu, 02 May 2024 23:09:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/laughing-during-sex/Laughing during or after sex is more common than you'd think. And while you may get a fit of the giggles when something goes wrong, laughter during or after sex also signifies an incredibly satisfying sexual experience. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains... Sex is always a unique experience. What it will be like depends on an array of factors. Whom with and when are you sharing this encounter? What kind of mood set the stage for the act — gentle, romantic, passionate, or is it sex after a fight? Finally, there are different types of lovers. Some people are shy and quiet, and some loud and full of confidence. There are those who like to submit. Others allow themselves to be passionately dominant or benevolently aggressive. Some play roles and test ways to get satisfaction. And some people laugh during or after sex. In this article I'll look into the relationship between sex and laughter. I'll review current research and explain why you or your partner may have an uncontrollable need for laughing during sex — or afterwards — and why it is perfectly normal. Why do some people laugh during and after sex? Laughter accompanies us at every step of a romance. When we first meet a person we like, we tend to laugh loudly and signal interest. Research has revealed that, by doing so, we send a “this is play” message in an uncertain situation. Laughter brings us closer to our partners throughout the relationship. Everyone knows what joy in a relationship feels like. When you joke around, smile a lot, and laugh, it means you are happy together. In fact, a study proved that the amount of time you spend laughing with your partner is directly associated with the quality of the relationship. Therefore, laughter during sex can be seen as a continuation of the good feeling you have with your partner. Also, it may mean that you are in a good relationship with yourself. But how so, exactly? Laughter during sex brings partners closer Laughing the awkward moments off A recent study revealed that people who are fine with laughing at themselves might enjoy better relationships. The ability to laugh at yourself and share this laughter with others can even boost your sexual satisfaction. What is the mechanism behind this association? People who love to make fun of themselves tend to be more confident and feel better in their skin. So, laughter during sex means, basically, that you are more relaxed in relationships and sure of yourself. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • Even more precisely, we all know that embarrassing incidents happen during sex. Sometimes, we have a snowball’s chance in Hell of looking as elegant, confident and alluring as we intended. Whether you get stuck trying to take off tight clothes, fall off the bed, pass wind, or try a pose you have zero experience with, 'mistakes' will happen. The entire experience will not become a mortifying event when you can laugh off those embarrassing moments. The chemical foundations of laughter with sex The science behind laughing during or laughter after sex can be summarised as follows — when you are happy and pleased, you act accordingly. In layman’s terms — when sex is great, the elation can naturally be followed by laughter. Sex impacts (among other hormones and neurotransmitters) the secretion of oxytocin. Oxytocin is associated with many functions in both sexes. It helps during labour and has a role in breastfeeding. Another function of oxytocin is related to the tend-and-befriend response, which is, in short, the opposite of flight-or-fight. It is behaviour more typical of women. However, oxytocin helps us connect with others in general, regardless of sex. Finally, oxytocin has been shown to influence sexual pleasure. “When your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness.” Because of the connection between oxytocin, orgasm, love, bonding, sexual pleasure, and lower levels of stress and pain, scientists are now calling it the hormone of love. Therefore, when your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might feel the need to laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness. Why do some people not laugh during sex? Sometimes, we think of sex as anything but funny. We want to impress, look seductive, and feel secure and adored. In short, sex is can often be quite stressful, even though it is meant to be anything but that. Sex is, potentially, an arena for all our insecurities to come out. One study looked into how attachment styles relate to sexual satisfaction. The results determined that people who had insecure attachments reported sexual dissatisfaction. What is more, when men had an anxious attachment, their female partners were dissatisfied. When women were avoidant, their male partners were not pleased. Overall, when people do not feel relaxed and confident enough, they might have a hard time enjoying intercourse. Laughter during sex is unlikely to happen. 5 ways laughter and sex are connected On the other hand, when you incorporate laughter into your sexual life, you are blending two phenomena that naturally go hand in hand. Why? Because they are very similar in terms of their effect on the body. Both laughter and sex can alleviate anxiety. As discussed earlier, oxytocin and endorphins, the happiness hormones, are released during sex and laughter. These hormones can help you feel relaxed and overcome anxieties more easily. Furthermore, laughter and sex both stimulate your immune system. WebMD reports that several studies found having sex once or twice a week is related to higher levels of antibodies in your bloodstream. Similarly, laughter stimulates your immune system and has positive effects on natural killer cell cytotoxicity. It could be argued, then, that laughter after sex doubles the benefits. Indeed, laughter and sex can make us fit and healthy. Both can be considered exercise, in a way. Apart from other beneficial effects of both activities on our physical and mental health, sex and joking around burns calories. A study determined that 10–15 minutes of laughter per day could increase your calories expenditure by 2–10 kcal. Laughter and sex also leads to hormonal balance. Whether you are laughing or having sex (or laughing after sex), your cortisol and adrenalin levels drop. Researchers are even suggesting the use of laughter therapy instead of pharmacological means of addressing stress-induced hormonal disbalance. The overall workings of both playfulness and sexual pleasure lead to better hormonal balance. Laughter and sex change our moods and thoughts for the better. Overall, we can conclude that both laughter and sex can help us feel better, more optimistic, and more peaceful. They can help ease tension and reset our minds when we get too wrapped up in our own thoughts and fears. And laughter after sex is the winning combination for a great mood. How laughter can strengthen relationships Playfulness is a desirable trait, regardless of gender. Researchers who study the role of playfulness in romance found that when women are full of life in that way, men see youth — regardless of age. On the other hand, a playful man will be perceived as non-aggressive by women. These are traits men and women seek in the opposite sex when they are choosing their long-term partners. However, the role of laughter and playfulness (including laughing during sex and laughter after sex) does not end at the point of a beginning of a relationship. There is an abundance of research revealing that laughter can strengthen relationships at different stages. Stay playful and enjoy everything about sex shutterstock.com/fizkes What is it about playfulness that helps us feel good in relationships? A 2019 study explored how different forms of playfulness might relate to relationship satisfaction. Over 200 couples were surveyed. The findings confirmed that two kinds of playfulness directly led to higher levels of satisfaction with one’s relationship. The first is other-directed playfulness. This is when you enjoy playful interactions with others use playfulness to ease tension in social situations or to cheer others up. The other is intellectual playfulness. Such playfulness comes to play when you prefer complexity over simplicity, enjoy play of words, or playing things through in your mind. “When your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness.” Playfulness also plays a role in sexual satisfaction. Metz and McCarthy, researchers in the field of sex and related psychological factors, determined that being playful can prevent monotony in your sex life. They say that people chase great sex in the wrong directions, listen to the wrong sources, and get caught up in sexual “hype”. The focus on perfectionism fuels performance anxiety and undermine healthy, satisfying sex. Therefore, add playfulness to your sex life. Was there anything comical about the intercourse? Do joke about it (in a sensitive manner, of course). Laughing after sex will ease the tension and bring you closer. RELATED: What playfulness can do for your relationship How can we get more laughter into our relationships? One theoretical model, empirically confirmed and also very intuitive, could provide advice. According to its principles, when we are playful in a relationship, this causes positive emotions. Positive emotions, expectedly, make us feel more content with our relationship. However, who are people who are playful? The confident ones. Yes, self-esteem and a love for humour make you feel confident enough to act silly at times and be full of beans. Takeaway: laugh and love Sex is meant to be fun. However, modern culture puts too much pressure on the act. We see unrealistic bodies, positions and ambience everywhere. From TV shows to pornographic material, we are bombarded by how “the perfect” sexual intercourse ought to look. As a result, we get too stressed and focus on the wrong things. Remember, sex is about two people making a connection. To have a genuine relationship with someone, you need to be authentic. This means laughing during sex if you feel like it. As long as you are not mocking your partner, laughter during sex can only add to the beauty of the act. So, do not shy away from laughing after sex and creating a lasting feeling of closeness with your partner. • Main image: shutterstock.com/Rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Sexuality | Empathy | Trust Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.Fri, 19 Apr 2024 23:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/whats-the-point-of-life/Most of us have probably asked ourselves what's the point of life'? Indeed, sometimes our time on Earth can seem futile. However, Dee Marques argues that finding meaning in your existence is key and tells you the three vital questions you should ask yourself to help find it. There comes a point in our lives where, no matter how successful we think we are, we’re bound to question why we’re here, what we're doing and where we’re going. Sometimes, posing these questions can help us evaluate our goals and lifestyle and improve them for better physical and mental health. In other cases – perhaps when we're feeling low or vulnerable – wondering what the point of life is can amplify feelings of depression, anxiety and emptiness. As humans, we’re unique in the animal kingdom, among many other reasons because of our quest for finding fulfilment and happiness in life. We aim to do more than eat, sleep, reproduce, and stay safe. This quest for meaning has characterised humans since the beginning of times and it’s a central question in every culture. And according to scientists, the search for meaning seems to be coded into our nature: our brains are larger and with this comes the ability to appreciate things beyond meeting our basic needs. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up to happiness.com and join a community that cares • And we can do more than appreciate the positive and joyful aspects of life. Trying to find meaning in negative experiences is also an ability that’s unique to humans, and that’s precisely what leads us to ask 'what's the point of life'. So how can we go about finding an answer? Let’s look at some practical ideas. What's the point of life? What if the purpose of life was finding a way to forget about the question 'what's the point of life?'! Maybe there’s no single thing that brings meaning per se, but the journey itself may be what helps us find purpose. And when we talk about the journey, we mean every aspect of it, from savouring the pleasant experiences to learning from mistakes. What's the point of life? Both meaning and purpose But for the journey to be meaningful, it must be the result of your own choices. Some people try to find meaning in wealth and fame, but this doesn’t have to be your story. As a living being, you’re in a unique position to decide what your purpose should be. We didn’t choose to be born, but we can choose how to live our lives and how to enjoy it. “What if the purpose of life was finding a way to forget about the question 'what's the point of life?'” To do that, it helps focusing on being consciously grounded in the present. Practising mindfulness creates a greater awareness of what it means to be alive. It helps your mind get more in touch with your emotions, reactions, and with your five senses. This type of clarity can open your eyes to things or experiences that help you to live your life with purpose. And mindfulness is not the only thing that can bring us clarity: there are some questions you can ask yourself to inspire your search for purpose. The 3 questions to help you find meaning The quest for meaning in life is so vast that the very thought of getting started can make you feel overwhelmed. Discovering what the point of life is is a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone. However, there are some questions that you can put you on the right track to begin the journey of discovery. 1. What would you like to be remembered for? As humans, we tend to focus on the present and in the future. If you examine your ambitions, you may find that they’re limited to what you want to achieve this year, next year, on in the next decade. But have you thought about what you’d want to be remembered for? The answer to this question is usually related to career or spiritual goals rather than material ones, and thinking about it can help bring into focus the true essence of your being. 2. If you had super-powers, which problem would you solve first? There’s no shortage of serious problems in the world, and while it’s not always in our hands to solve them, thinking about which problem you’d give priority can hint at where your main concerns are. Once you know that, you can start looking for ways of doing your part. For example, if you find that you’d want to end world hunger, you may want to spend some time volunteering at a soup kitchen, or creating a community food garden. 3. What’s the one activity that makes you lose track of time? We all know that time drags on when we’re doing something we dislike. But the opposite is also true: there are some activities that make time fly because they get our full attention and bring us a sense of fulfilment. Losing track of time when doing something is known as finding your flow, and it's a clear sign that the activity taps into the things that make us come alive. So, spending more time in those activities can help you enjoy a more meaningful life. These questions are just the starting point: we’ve written an article about other ways to guide your search for meaning. What's the point of life? Being enough There’s no doubt that knowing what your purpose in life is can bring you closer to happiness. But if you’ve been trying to find out what your role in life is and have found no answer, don’t torture yourself. People’s experiences are different and not everyone will find the right answer at the same time. Gratitude: having enough can be enough shutterstock/WAYHOME studio What’s more, rushing into finding an answer will only put you under pressure and cause stress. Instead, try to see it from a different perspective: if you haven’t found an answer yet, simply “being” should be enough for now. Here are four suggestions on how to make that work: 1. Find abundance in having enough The powers of gratitude are proven by science. Make a list of things you already have in your life that make you feel blessed and grateful. Through mindfulness practice, you can find abundance in these things, and you may find that having enough is… enough! 2. Get comfortable with discomfort Life can feel like an uphill battle sometimes, at it's at those times when we might wonder what's the point of life or of going through hard times. However, discomfort in life is unavoidable and trying to find meaning in those experiences often leads to frustration. So, try to accept life for what it is and know that the hard times won't last for ever. “Discovering what the point of life is is a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone.” 3. Let your intuition guide you Finding the meaning of life requires some analytical thinking, but sometimes logical reasoning doesn’t have all the answers. The key is to balance rational thoughts with intuition, which sometimes will contradict all logical arguments. Listen and trust that inner voice because it usually knows what’s good and right for you! 4. Forget what others think or are doing Some people seem to have their life’s purpose figured out, but comparing yourself to them isn’t helpful. The point of life is to live it in your own terms and at your own pace, and that should be the main focus. For the same reason, don’t let other people’s opinions affect you when it comes to what you find meaningful or how you go about finding your ambition, role or purpose. • JOIN US! Struggling with life? Sign-up to happiness.com and share your story • Conclusions So, what is the point of life? If there’s one thing that holds true for most of us, it's that the point of life is to live and experience things to the fullest, whatever that “fullest” means for you right now. Don’t rush your quest for meaning. Instead, make a point of finding joy in what you already have and try your best to feel grounded in the present. At some point, you’ll find the answer you’re looking for, and in the meantime, enjoy the journey! • Main image: shutterstock/Song_about_summer Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Thu, 11 Apr 2024 23:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/art-culture-leisure/health-benefits-of-knitting/After being pictured knitting at the Olympics, champion diver Tom Daley put crochet and yarn back in the public eye. Keen knitter Dee Marques looks at the health benefits of this popular pastime – from reducing anxiety to improving cognitive function. Two years ago, I was browsing a crafts store website when something caught my eye. All I saw was a beautifully vibrant teal colour, and then I realised it was yarn. I really wanted to have that colour in my life, so I thought that if that meant learning to knit, so be it! I ordered the yarn, found some YouTube tutorials, and haven’t stopped knitting since. In fact, it turns out that my experience of falling in love with yarn and knitting is quite common. Indeed, knitting is going through quite a revival, with people of all ages turning to the craft and discovering the benefits it brings to their mental health. Let's look at why this traditional skill is so popular again and at some of the interesting health advantages knitting can bring you. Knitting: how it became hip When people think about knitting, they usually picture an old lady sitting in a rocking chair and making a pair of thick and furry socks! Well, although old ladies do, of course, still knit, this old-fashioned stereotype is gradually being replaced by a new reality: knitting is no longer just a 'housewifey' thing to do. The health benefits of knitting include reducing stress and anxiety Indeed, knitting is fast-shedding its fuddy-duddy image. Over the past few years it's gone from being seen as something traditional to something radical. Now, knitting is no longer associated with domesticity, but rather with a creative activity for men and women of all ages. For example, Facebook is full of knitting groups for guys, such as Men Who Knit. And the list of celebrities who are into knitting includes Russell Crowe, Christina Hendricks, and, more recently, Olympic bronze medallist Tom Daley – you may have spotted him in the crowd recently darning away during a swimming competition. “Knitting is going through a revival, and people of all ages are turning to the craft and falling in love with it – and the benefits it brings to their health.” A quick online search reveals lots of knitting clubs, as well as an endless Instagram feed where people from all over the world show off their skills and new creations. Some designers have started featuring incredibly creative knit garments that show how knitting is a match for unconventional personalities. Diver Tom Daley and one of his creations Instagram/madewithlovebytomdaley Furthermore, knitting has experienced a huge surge in popularity since the start of the pandemic. As millions of us found ourselves stuck at home with nothing to do due to lockdowns, knitting became a great way to learn a new skill and pass the time while doing something both creative and productive. In fact, during the past 18 months knitting stores have experienced a massive increase in sales and a surge in social media followers! Practical advantages of knitting So, before getting into the health benefits of knitting, here are some other reasons why it's such a cool hobby to indulge in: It’s affordable. You can get started with just a few knitting needles, yarn, and a couple of stoppers. If you don’t want to buy them new, charity shops have tons of knitting goodies at low prices. In fact, I was able to get started by spending just £5! I found a few used needles at a second-hand store, and a neighbour gave me her kit, which she didn’t use anymore due to arthritis. You can knit at home – and everywhere else you want. I made myself a pouch for my knitting tools and I make sure to always have it in my bag. That way, I can make progress on whatever I’m working on when I’m waiting at the GP surgery or at any other place where I know I have a long wait ahead of me. You don't need much space. When you start knitting, you’ll need to follow patterns. Unlike sewing patterns, which can be huge and take up a lot of space, knitting patterns can be easily downloaded from websites and they barely cover more than an A4-sized piece of paper. There are plenty of free patterns, too. Knitting is useful. Fancy a pair of fingerless gloves in your favourite colour? You can make them in one day. Want to make someone a handmade gift? Then knit a scarf, a beanie, or a wash cloth. When it comes to the practical side of knitting, nothing beats knowing that you can make your own clothes and accessories. The knitting community is friendly and supportive. Everyone knows what it’s like to be a beginner and the community if full of people offering help and support to newbies. Six key health benefits of knitting The health benefits of knitting are mostly linked to mental health. But since mind and body are closely connected, the health benefits of knitting could also extend to physical well-being. Here are six potential advantages: 1. Reduced stress and anxiety This is one of the greatest health benefits of knitting and the first to be noticed. Once you get 'in the flow' (and you will know when this happens!), knitting grabs all your attention and you become so absorbed in working row after row, that it takes your mind away from other worries. For me, knitting is synonymous with serenity, reducing both my anxiety and stress. 2. Improved cognitive function At first sight, it may seem that knitting is a simple and repetitive activity. But alternating your knit and purl stitches stimulates brain function. Studies carried out in older adults have shown that this type of productive mental engagement can benefit cognitive skills, including memory and reasoning. Linked to this, some research suggests that the cognitive demands of knitting can also reduce the risk of developing Alzheimer’s and dementia, as it keeps the brain cells fired up. More men than ever are discovering the health benefits of knitting shutterstock/Elmur 3. Improved self-confidence Knitting means creating something, and it’s empowering to go from being a consumer to being a producer. This gives knitters a boost of confidence and a feeling of accomplishment when seeing their work progress. Indeed, there’s a feeling of fulfilment involved in being able to wear or use what you made – doing something with your hands has healing power! And while we all know clinical depression requires professional support, studies have shown that knitting has can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states. 4. A lesson in mindfulness Knitting requires focus and concentration in the present, one stitch at the time. This craft has been called 'the new yoga', since every knitting session is a great opportunity to disconnect from the outside world, slow down, and focus. Does this sound familiar? Yes, it’s similar to mindfulness, and so the health benefits of knitting are linked. “Studies have shown that knitting can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states.” In fact, some people compare knitting to meditation and have even coined a new term for it: medknitation. Instead of repeating a mantra or focusing on their breathing, some knitters concentrate on the repetitive flow of knitting and are able to achieve a similar meditative state. The teacher of happiness.com's MBSR course, Tine Steiss, is an avid knitter and keen proponent of the hobby due to its many benefits: "Knitting keeps my hands busy and this is beneficial in two situations: I can listen more deeply, be it in a meeting, in a conversation or with an audio book or podcast. I don't then reach for my mobile phone, a snack, or some other form of distraction. RELATED: How to Practise Niksen – the Art of Doing Nothing “But knitting also helps me relax, or in other words, it's an excuse to relax. When my hands are busy, the brain no longer searches for things that need to be done. Unlike mindfulness meditation, where I'm actively exercising the brain in a form of focused stillness, when I'm knitting, the brain is casually chilling on the couch.” Happy knits from designer Lizzie Kaya Instagram/gimme_kaya 5. It boosts dopamine and a feel-good effect Knitting can be frustrating when you’re a beginner. It took me a while to figure out how to undo mistakes, and until that happened, I was annoyed every time I got a stitch wrong. But it’s also incredibly rewarding. Seeing the progress of your work, gaining self-confidence, and being relaxed are all states that trigger dopamine. This substance is known as the feel-good hormone, and it has a beneficial effect on body and mind. The release of dopamine can help regulate mood, sleep, digestion, blood flow, and many other important functions that contribute to the fabulous health benefits of knitting. RELATED: Happiness Hormones – the Neurochemicals of Happiness 6. A sense of control Most of us have felt things getting out of control over the past year or so. Instead of dwelling on the negative state of things, choosing to spend time doing something over which you do have control can help improve your well-being. Start with an easy project so that you can experience that wonderful feeling of being in control of what can be controlled. To sum up, knitting is another coping tool you can add to your arsenal. Emotional well-being is one of the health benefits of knitting that everyone should experience. The takeaway: why knitting benefits your health The therapeutic effects of knitting range from reduced stress to better cognitive functioning, self-confidence, and the ability to focus on the present moment. You can experience the health benefits of knitting whether your knit alone or as part of a group. It doesn’t take much to get started, and once you get hooked, you’ll never look back! ● Main image: shutterstock/Samo Trebizan Are you a keen knitter? What health benefits does it give you? Share your thoughts and designs with the happiness.com community in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Sculpturing | Dementia | Painting Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Sun, 31 Mar 2024 00:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/nothing-makes-me-happy/Finding it difficult to seek happiness from anything you do? Sonia Vadlamani explores the reasons why a loss of pleasure and motivation could signify an underlying mental health concern. Plus, she suggests seven ways to start rebuilding your happiness. Several of us find ourselves feeling down at some point in our lives, which could translate to feeling unmotivated, sad, stuck in life or at work, or just bored. However, if you keep thinking 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', as well as being unable to take delight in anything in your life, it could be that you are actually in a state of deep depression (perhaps without even realizing it). Anhedonia, or the inability to derive joy or happiness from anything around us, is a common indication of an underlying mental health issue such as depression, post traumatic stress disorder, or anxiety. While this feeling mimics boredom, it is also coupled with lack of motivation on one’s behalf to try anything, as nothing seems to matter to anymore, and there is no reward or pleasure to be derived from the action. In fact, it’s estimated that for those living with anhedonia, the regions in the brain that are usually associated with reward anticipation or interest are inflamed. This inflammation causes a dopamine imbalance in the brain, which makes one indifferent to the outcome of any event or situation. Why nothing makes you happy anymore It’s important to know that anhedonia – or the distinct sensation that nothing makes you happy – could also be a symptom of a situational depressive episode and need not be characterized as clinical depression. “It's something a lot of people experience, at least at one point in their lives,” states Dr Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist based in Austin, Texas. RELATED: Feeling blue or clinically depressed? The 4 things you should look out for Anhedonia can be defeated with consistent effort, but first you may need to pinpoint the underlying causes, so that they can be remedied. There are several plausible reasons why you may not find anything interesting or enjoyable anymore: Feeling burned out and exhausted Feeling easily irritable, being sleep-deprived for a long duration and constant lethargy are some of the symptoms associated with burnout. The most usual form of this healthcare issue is seen in the form of workplace burnout, wherein people work through prolonged hours under immense stress, or carry out a wide range of responsibilities without sufficient breaks or rest. Loneliness While loneliness usually occurs in people who live alone or are isolated from others for extended period, a person can feel lonely even when they’re in a crowd. Loneliness as an emotional state takes root when we’re unable to form true connections with others around us. A constant sense of nothing making you happy within can signal loneliness, and the tendency to shut ourselves to the outside world might spiral us deeper into a depressive state, thus making it a vicious cycle. Loneliness and isolation can put us in a depressive state Boredom We often feel bored and uninspired because we’re wired to adapt to our circumstances – positive or negative – and after we get used to something, we tend to become indifferent to it and fail to derive any further 'happiness boost' from it. While this hedonic treadmill is a common phenomenon for most of us, sometimes this prolonged apathy or boredom towards life events can spiral towards substance abuse, addiction to unhelpful routines, self-harming behavior and even depression. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • Depression If you’re feeling blue often and each new day begins with a sense of apprehension, or if activities that used to spark joy fail to evoke any emotion in you, this could indicate the start of a depressive episode. Depression is a complex condition, with both mental and physical symptoms. However, the good news is that once diagnosed, depression can be treated, making it possible for one to eventually lead a happy, fulfilling life. How to rebuild happiness: 7 steps While the inability to derive joy from anything is a reason for concern and should be addressed, it’s important to realize that others have been in the same shoes before you and have found their way to happiness once again. So, if you constantly think to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore', here are some ideas to help you gradually change this state of mind and feel happier. 1. Get sufficient rest Research reveals a strong link between troubled sleeping and depression, with sleeping disorders present in nearly 75 per cent of adults diagnosed with depression. Sleep disturbances can raise stress levels and anxiety, impacting one’s overall quality of life. “If you keep thinking to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', it could be that you are actually in a deep depression.” Indeed, following good sleep hygiene is essential for ensuring good overall health. Some effective sleep hacks include limiting your overall screen-time and consciously shutting all screens at least an hour before bed. Getting good-quality sleep on a regular basis is one of the surest ways to feel better again, according to research. 2. Consult a physician A persistent feeling that nothing makes you happy could also arise from an underlying medical condition or a sudden shift in your usual lifestyle. For example, those who spend more time indoors are likely to be deficient in vitamin D, which is associated with poor mood, depression and other mental disorders. Eating disorders and health conditions like hypoactive thyroid or iron deficiency can result in depressive symptoms and heightened anxiety as well. Talking to your doctor and getting the bloodwork and appropriate tests done can help eliminate these potential underlying conditions that could cause unhappiness. 3. Take care of your body Our food choices affect our mood and health, as revealed from the discovery of the gut-brain axis. Include lots of good mood foods like green vegetables, seeds and nuts, lean meats and prebiotics to improve your mental health and boost your happiness levels. Dehydration is also responsible for blocking the production of serotonin, potentially impairing our ability to think clearly and make us feel tired all the time, and hence it’s important to stay hydrated through the day. Furthermore, engaging in physical activity will also help combat that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling by releasing endorphins, a type of 'happiness hormone' which can boost our stress management abilities. Exercise releases happiness-boosting endorphins shutterstock/Rido In fact, regular exercise can change our brain, in addition to improving heart health and preventing diseases like diabetes. If you can’t access the gym, try mindful running or restorative yoga to introduce the element of mindfulness and relaxation to your daily exercise routine. Starting slow, setting small and realistic goals and being consistent can create noticeable improvements in the way you feel. 4. Re-configure what happiness means to you At this point, you may be ready to take a deeper glance into what elicits happiness for you and adding activities which may uplift your mood. When I find myself feeling unhappy, I look around for clues as to what makes me happy in the first place, and whether I’ve been doing enough lately to achieve or reinstate that feeling. If there are obstacles that prevent you from picking up activities you once used to enjoy, try inculcating new activities that may interest you and help you feel less bored with life. While traveling to explore various cuisines and fitness pursuits are activities that generally keep me upbeat, I found it was connecting with nature in the form of gardening – even in a limited apartment space – that helped keep my spirits up through the stress and anguish I experienced around the COVID-19 pandemic. Look for ways to incorporate awe in your life. Including 'expressive therapy', or creative expression in the form of making art, music, dance, writing or creative dialog can improve our ability to cope with emotional issues, while helping us form meaningful relationships with others with similar interests. 5. Meditate regularly A daily meditation routine and focusing on your breathwork can help to boost happiness levels, albeit over time and with steady practice. There are several types of meditation you could choose from, depending on the skills you wish to learn from meditation and convenience. For example, gratitude meditation could help you bring attention to the good things in your life, enabling you to release negativity. Deep sleep meditation can improve your sleep quality and help you feel well-rested, rejuvenated, and ready to brave the next day with improved energy levels. 6. Reach out and connect “Oftentimes people experience anhedonia and other symptoms of depression when they feel their social connections are weak,” states Dr Nadeau. Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness. Utilizing the power of friendships and positive communication is important for our overall life-satisfaction and well-being. “Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness.” While intimate connections and close ties are important, even weak ties can impact us positively by providing stimulation and a fresh perspective, as researcher Karen Fingerman points out. Connecting with random strangers during the pandemic can help you and others feel less lonely and isolated, making the world around feel like a better place. 7. Talk to a mental health professional If none of these ideas are making you feel better and happier, it’s okay to seek professional help when you’re feeling defeated by life. Reaching out and talking to a specialist can help you take stock of your situation and pinpoint the inherent concerns that require addressing or cognitive reframing. Be it dealing with rejection or hurt, working on self-acceptance, or the need to devise work life balance, a therapist can help you process and resolve the underlying issues when you’ve had that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling for a prolonged period. Takeaway: nothing makes me happy Most of us tend to lose interest in things we used to enjoy at some point in our lives. However, anhedonia takes this inability to enjoy to its furthest limits, wherein one can’t seem to take delight in anything that once used to spark joy within them, such as food, conversations, music, travel, etc. If you find that nothing make you happy anymore, start by identifying and addressing the plausible underlying causes. Focus on getting your physical and mental health back on track and indulging in activities that you previously enjoyed or rejuvenate you now. Try to incorporate one or more happy habits into your routine to gradually combat your 'nothing makes me happy anymore' feeling. However, seeking professional help is essential if you’re struggling to reconnect with happiness on your own. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes If you're experiencing any of the signs of depression make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: jo@samaritans.org for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.Sun, 24 Mar 2024 11:22:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/i-hate-my-life/We all get down on ourselves sometimes, but if you're stuck in a rut and thinking “I hate my life”, then it's time to take action. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović shares 10 practical ideas to help put your life in perspective and turn things around so you can start loving it again... “I hate my life!” Does this statement (or, rather, exclamation bellowed in agony) resonate with you now or in the past? Then you are not alone. Life can be joyous, exhilarating and breathtaking. However, it is also unpredictable. Challenges arise, we make wrong decisions, difficulties get hurled our way. A part of life is to dislike some of it. You might have married the wrong person, and now you loathe your time together. Maybe you were hit by an economic crisis and cannot make ends meet. You could be chronically overworked, not having the time to do anything else. Sometimes it seems only logical to hate your life. I lived in that state for many years. And I do not mean a teenage “I hate my life!” exclamation when you embarrass yourself in front of the entire class. I'm talking about the darkest loathing of every waking moment. I know how your soul grows black when you feel inescapably hopeless and helpless. Why did I share that with you? Because I want you to know that what you will read is not empty talk. I have travelled the path, and I did so very recently. You, too, can swim back to the surface. How? Read on for some ideas on how to fight the antipathy you nurture towards your own life — and fall back in love with it. Stop hating, start reclaiming Hating your life is not a pretty state to be in. Wrong choices and regret tend to put you off course. I remember when I noticed my life suddenly starting to lose all its colours. I felt lost. I was paralysed by the revulsion when I catalogued all my failures that made my life unenjoyable, to say the least. If you have had enough of loathing, start reclaiming your life. It may be a long road to travel. Still, you are bound to become sager afterwards — not to mention happier. 1. Take time to reflect The very first step you need to take is to understand why you hate your life. It may be obvious, like having a job that drains your energy and has no higher purpose whatsoever. In other instances, the source of your hatred may not be so obvious. It could be a group of aspects of your life, like an unsupportive family, lack of time for hobbies, overly expensive apartment, wrong profession, and so on. If you hate your life, it's time to take steps to change it Take some time to reflect on the topic. Write down your thoughts if you need to. What it is exactly that you want out of your life? It would be best if you determined exactly where the loathing comes from. Because unless you know why you hate your life, it will be challenging to come up with how to change it. 2. Determine what's in your power to change When you're done with the soul-searching from the first step, you should analyse the situation. What is it that you can control and change? What is out of your hands? For example, if you're in an abusive relationship, there's little point in trying to make the abuser change. However, you can transform your perspective on things. You can gradually start refusing to think about your life and yourself as they dictate. Their insults do not have to be the building blocks of your identity. RELATED: Changing perspective and gaining happiness The Serenity Prayer, regardless of your religion, speaks about a pearl of universal and timeless wisdom: Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other 3. Remove unhelpful automatic thoughts Whatever your situation may be, chances are, the previous step led you to realise your thoughts are always in your hands. Indeed, it's the one thing we can always control. We all have many automatic thoughts. Unfortunately, they are often unhelpful. Such maladaptive thinking patterns cause numerous disturbances and difficulties, as a cross-cultural study found. A straightforward example: if you keep thinking “I hate my life” then you are gearing your mind towards negativity. “Come up with alternative statements and start thinking them instead of the negative ones. For example, replace 'I hate my life' with 'It's in my power to create the life I want.” Work on removing such maladaptive thoughts. Challenge them, search for counterarguments. Come up with alternative statements, and start thinking them instead of the negative ones. For example, replace “I hate my life” with “It is in my power to create the life I want”. Remember: you are not your thoughts. A systematic review of nearly 70 scientific papers confirmed the power of self-talk. Positive self-talk can improve our performance, help with depression or anxiety symptoms, and increase our confidence. 4. Forgive and self-forgive If you're in a situation that makes you hate your life, maybe you need to work on forgiveness. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal. And what about self-forgiveness? When you forgive yourself, you open the doors to growing as a person, a study revealed. According to Stanford University’s summary of recent findings in the field, self-forgiveness leads to: Wisdom Increased ability to focus, success, and higher productivity Better emotional health More quality relationships A sense of happiness and gratitude Whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting another person, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or for failing to stick to healthy habits, let go of self-hate. Letting go of loathing will help you release your energy for a fresh start and a new, happier life. 5. Practise gratitude When you hate your life, you probably have a bias towards seeing the negatives. It may be a strong mental habit, making you blind to the opportunities that are still there for you. However, if you're fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Focus on all of the good things in your life. Indeed, even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for. Practise gratitude and enjoy the simple things in life shutterstock/Serhii Yurkiv It may be your memories and the wonderful moments you've had in the past. It could be your inner strength and perseverance. Look at nature and cherish its beauty. Take a moment to watch the morning and be thankful for seeing it. Savour. Then move gradually towards recognising other positives in your life — friends, family, your home, your job... find the good in everything you can. In that way, you train your mind to stop focusing on the loathsome aspects of your life. Scientific research has confirmed the benefits of gratitude on life satisfaction and happiness. Suddenly, you will start seeing the opportunities to turn things around. 6. Avoid comparisons Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. We're naturally inclined to compare ourselves to others. Social media make it very difficult not to. However, what people showcase online is carefully corrected and selected to display only the best features. Trying to keep up with those fake standards is bound to make you hate your life. Even when you know images and posts are edited, they can still make you feel inadequate. “However, if you're fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for.” So, do not compare yourself. Direct your energy towards your authentic needs and wishes instead. Ask yourself — what would I want if I was not trying to keep up? What would I do if I did not care about praise, money, accomplishments, recognition? 7. Explore your passions Do you remember the last time you felt on top of the world? You were likely living in line with your principles and passions at that time. Now that you are not, you probably feel lost and “I hate my life” has become your mantra. Therefore, venture on to explore and (re)discover your interests. Ask yourself: “What is it that I used to love doing and believed in?” “What would I want to do if I did not have to care about money or anything else?” Search for the activities that give you something called flow, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow is a state in which you get lost in an activity. You stop noticing time passing, and you're absorbed in what you're doing. Csikszentmihalyi’s research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy. 8. Get support (and input) from your friends and family Hating your life puts you in a dark and, often, lonely place. You may be living under circumstances that isolate you. The heaviness of the feeling might be too much to hide or to share with others. Embrace family when you're feeling low in life shutterstock/AlessandroBiascioli Yet, being alone is a stressor on its own. It can make it too easy to ruminate about what you loathe about your life. Try to “prescribe” yourself socialising with people. Enjoy a casual coffee with friends or a heart-to-heart conversation about what worries you. Studies revealed that social support could help you step out of your head and gain a fresh perspective on things. 9. Look after yourself When you're in a state of loathing your life, it often becomes difficult to take good care of yourself. However, the mind-body connection goes two ways. When you're sleep-deprived, sick, and physically weak, you become psychologically vulnerable, too. RELATED: Feeling blue or clinically depressed? The 4 things you should look out for So, start looking after yourself. Sleep, exercise, get enough fresh air, eat healthy food. Scientific research has proven that physical activity helps lower the levels of stress hormones in your body. It also increases your ability to focus and use your intellectual skills better. As a result, you will gain clarity and better control over your emotions. Same goes for other acts of self-care. Give yourself plenty of self-love, even when you do not feel like it. Your future self will thank you. 10. Make a plan of action After all of the steps above, you're probably ready to make an action plan. Identify what makes you unhappy. Commit to making small steps to improve things. Each day, ask yourself: “What is it that I can do to move closer to my goal today?” The “I hate my life” monster might raise its ugly head a few more times. However, stop sabotaging yourself. Do not allow it to stay in your head for too long. Remember — our time on this planet is limited. You do not want to spend whatever time you have left hating your life — you want to change it while you can. Takeaway: I hate my life Yes, you only get to live once. So, does it make any sense to hate your life? Is it not wiser to try and change it around? It may take some time, but if you use the rock bottom you're at right now to push yourself back to the surface, you will be able to say: “I survived”. You will start to love living again and enjoy every moment of it. • Main image: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic Please note that the “I hate my life” sentiment might be a symptom of clinical depression. If you experience any of the signs of this emotional disorder, make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: jo@samaritans.org for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you're under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting in our happiness forum ■ learning with free online Academy classes Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.Fri, 15 Mar 2024 00:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/signs-your-friend-doesnt-care-about-you/Friendships make us happier and healthier, so research says. However, friendships that are unfulfilling or fading can have the opposite effect. Sonia Vadlamani identifies seven signs that someone doesn’t want to be your friend and offers advice on how to handle the situation. Friendships are a unique form of relationship in several ways. For starters, we enter them of our own accord, unlike family relationships. Friendships also lack the formal structures that are typically present in other relationships, like marriage and familial bonds. What’s more, research suggests that friendships form the core of one’s happiness levels and well-being. In fact, strong social relationships matter more to us as we age, which is why it’s important for us to form meaningful connections that make us happy. According to the authors of the still-ongoing Grant Study, a study which aims to monitor the happiness levels and well-being of 1,600 Harvard undergraduates through their entire lives, “the capacity to love and be loved was the single strength most clearly associated with subjective well-being at age 80.” Yet, it’s a known fact that friendships change as we grow older. In the current COVID-struck world – where most of us are picking up the social connections from their pre-pandemic lives – some may slowly realize that their friendships probably aren’t the same as they once were. On the other hand, we may have formed new connections and friendships during these difficult times. However, not all acquaintances or connections can be transformed into fulfilling, lasting friendships. Sometimes you may want to re-kindle a friendship from your distant past, hoping for a happy reunion despite spotting some warning signs that your friend doesn’t care about you. Indeed, given that we are largely social creatures, your excitement towards forging a friendship may cause you to overlook some of the signs someone doesn’t actually want to be your friend. 7 signs your friend doesn’t care about you Friendship is a two-way street, and it’s not healthy to force it upon someone who clearly isn’t interested in being buddies with you. So, if you’re concerned that a friend of yours appears disinterested in your relationship or is acting up, here are seven pointers to help you differentiate true friends from mere acquaintances. 1. They don’t really know you anymore One of the easiest signs that your friend doesn’t care about you anymore is when you feel that they don’t really know or understand you. It’s possible that with time you may have simply grown apart, and that your interests now vary. However, if your friend doesn’t make an effort to keep up with your likes and preferences, and seems indifferent to your opinions and feelings, it could signify that they don’t truly value your friendship. Not feeling included is a sign of a problem friendship shutterstock/fizkes 2. They avoid meeting or keep cancelling plans It cannot be denied that communication and consistency form the bedrock for any fulfilling and reliable friendship. Which is why a steady lack of interest in catching up or a refusal to make plans with you can be considered as signs that someone doesn’t want to be your friend. RELATED: The 8 types of friend we all need We all have busy lives, but if you notice that you're continually the first one to touch base and attempt making plans with someone, or that they doesn’t seem enthusiastic about meeting you, it could be that they are no longer interested in being friends with you and are unable to talk to you about their feelings. 3. You aren’t included in their social lives One of the most obvious signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend is when they leave you out of their plans to hang out or attend an event, even when your other friends may have been invited. When confronted, they may offer a vague excuse or inadequate reasoning for why they left you out, leaving you even more puzzled each time. While this can sound like a common movie trope, it is especially hurtful and can sometimes make you question your friendship. “A steady lack of interest in catching up or a refusal to make plans with you can be considered as signs that someone doesn’t want to be your friend.” With social media becoming an integral part of our lives, a reasonable way to gauge the true state of your friendship could be to observe your friend’s social media feed. You may find that they do not post about you or tag you, even if you were attending the same event and were present in the picture they posted. Indeed, not everyone uses social media in the same manner and to the same degree, and thus social media shunning is not a foolproof way to gauge your friendship with someone. However, excluding you repeatedly from their socializing plans and ignoring you on social media whilst they’re active on it are reliable signs your friend doesn’t really care about you. 4. They seem distant and avoidant Despite our hectic schedules and busy lives, we usually make time to catch up with the people we truly care about. After all, healthy communication and timely, mutually enriching interactions are key to sustaining friendships. One of the warning signs your friend doesn’t care about you can be their remote behavior and tendency to be preoccupied when you’re having a conversation. Paying attention to the non-verbal cues can sometimes offer a clearer picture too. For instance, if someone is always playing with their phone or looking off into the distance rather than listening to you, they may be trying to avoid you. Indeed, if you find that your friend doesn’t pay attention to you or responds with unenthusiastic answers when you’re trying to make a conversation, it could be a sign that your relationship may have already faded. Sign of the times: using a phone over friendship 5. They always place the blame on you While it can’t be denied that every relationship can face minor stumbles at some point, good friends often work together to clear misunderstandings and overcome the obstacles that stand in their way. However, holding you responsible for everything that ever went wrong, and never acknowledging their mistakes despite clear evidence of their wrongdoing could be clear signs that person doesn’t want to be your friend any longer. RELATED: Are you being used? 12 signs to look out for 6. They’re never around in difficult times True friends prove to be reliable during hardships and support each other through thick and thin to the best of their ability. So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn’t truly care about you. “One sign your friend doesn’t care about you is if they respond negatively to news about your success or accomplishments, or never seem excited for your growth.” This is often compounded by the fact that this fair-weather friend does often touch base with you to seek help or ask a favor but is unapproachable when you’re in dire straits. While you may often end up feeling hurt or bothered by this opportunistic behavior, it could be seen as a clear sign someone doesn’t want to be your friend. 7. They never seem happy for you One of the definite signs your friend doesn’t care about you is if they mostly respond negatively to news about your success or accomplishments, or never seem excited for your growth. Real friendships are based on mutual admiration, support and encouragement. Evidently, the lack of support and constant negativity coming your way could be surefire signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend. What to do when you see signs someone doesn't want to be your friend Given the voluntary nature of friendship, it often gets subjected to uncertainties of life in a way that other relationships don’t. Here are some ways to deal with indications that a friendship is now drawing to a close. Resist the temptation to force a friendship Sometimes, we must just accept that a new friendship isn’t meant to blossom, or that it may be the time to end a friendship. This is especially true if the other person isn’t reciprocating your interest or has made it clear that they are not interested in socializing with you. Long-lasting friendships require mutual and deliberate efforts, and forcing a friendship despite signs your friend doesn’t care about you can possibly leave you upset and heartbroken. Try changing your perspective about rejection Social rejection may cause you to question your self-worth and may even deter your confidence. However, try changing your perspective towards rejection as daring to step out of your comfort zone and taking a worthy risk. Instead of viewing the rejection as failure and questioning your likability, embrace this as a situation where you just didn’t ‘click’ with the friend, and save your precious energy by ably interpreting the signs your friend doesn’t care about you. Focus on making new connections Instead of getting trapped in a vulnerability hangover over your rejection, practice letting go gracefully. This will allow you to focus on making more rewarding connections with like-minded individuals who are truly interested in your friendship. Takeaway: signs your friend doesn’t care about you The power of friendship is real and our buddies play an important role in our happiness and well-being, which is why we need to be mindful when touching base with friends from the past or trying to forge new friendships. Just as you can’t possibly be good friends with everyone, it can be unfair on your behalf to impose your friendship, despite signs your friend doesn’t seem to really care about you. Try practicing acceptance and consider this as an opportunity to express gratitude for the friends in your life who will always be by your side through good times and rough tides. In the meantime, keep your chin up and do not let the disappointment prevent you from finding your tribe. • Main image: shutterstock/Prostock-studio Have you ever had to end a friendship because it was clear your friend didn't care about you anymore or had lost interest? Perhaps you've had a one-sided friendship and had to make changes and now have an ex-best friend! Let us know your thoughts below and in our friendship forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Empathy | Deep listening | Loneliness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.Fri, 08 Mar 2024 23:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/unlocking-the-hidden-health-benefits-of-kisses-what-you-shouldnt-miss-out-r438/Have you ever considered that a simple kiss could be more than just a sign of affection? What if I told you that locking lips with someone you care about could actually be a secret weapon for your health and well-being? Imagine if something as intimate and comforting as a kiss could not only bring you closer to your partner, but also improve your health in ways you never thought possible. Intrigued? You should be. The benefits of a kiss are immense. But how can a simple kiss offer so much, you may ask? Think back to the last time your lips met those of someone special. Did a wave of euphoria wash over you, or perhaps a profound sense of belonging? Was there a moment when the world seemed to stand still, enveloping you in peace amidst the chaos? It's not all in your head. The science behind kissing reveals a cocktail of benefits, from immunological boosts to stress relief, that many of us overlook. Why does kissing have such a powerful effect on our wellbeing? And how can such a simple gesture be a catalyst for strengthening bonds, improving health and promoting happiness? Let's embark on an exploration into the heart of kissing, armed with scientific evidence and expert opinion, to reveal the myriad ways it can enrich our lives. Are you ready to explore how a daily dose of kissing can potentially sideline your doctor? 1. The unlikely hero of oral health - How kissing works wonders Have you ever stopped in the middle of a kiss to reflect on the magic unfolding in your mouth? Beyond the embrace and the emotional whirlwind, there is an intricate science at work that is quietly championing your health. Every time our lips meet in a kiss, it's not just sparks that fly; our salivary glands spring into action, boosting saliva production. But why is this important? Think of saliva as an unsung hero, particularly important for maintaining impeccable oral health. As the intensity of a kiss increases, so does the flow of saliva, acting less like a simple biological response and more like a meticulous cleaner for your mouth. This rush effectively sweeps away food particles and bacteria lurking on your teeth and gums, like a miniature car wash for your oral cavity. Instead of soap and water, it uses saliva, a natural defence against plaque build-up and a warrior in the fight against tooth decay and gum disease. Who would have thought that a kiss could be a staunch ally in our oral hygiene arsenal and one way to strengthen your dental health? 2. How kissing fuels our inner joy - Endless euphoria Have you ever wondered why a kiss has the magical ability to turn the page on a dull day or lift a happy one to new heights? It goes beyond the mere emotional euphoria of being close to someone we love. Every time our lips meet, an invisible orchestra of chemicals plays inside us, orchestrating the blissful sensations that follow. This symphony involves a potent mix of hormones - dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin - our body's natural happiness architects, who play a key role in lifting our spirits. Think of dopamine as the spark of excitement that floods you, the addictive rush that beckons for more, anchored in the brain's reward circuitry, it gives pleasure and eagerness. Oxytocin, dubbed the 'love hormone', forges deeper connections, cementing emotional bonds and making every shared kiss a treasure trove of cherished moments. And serotonin, the mood enhancer, opens the doors to happiness, creating a pervasive sense of contentment. But the impact of these hormonal waves goes far beyond fleeting joy. They have the power to relieve stress, stave off the shadows of depression and even dull the edge of pain, acting as nature's antidote to emotional and physical ailments. So when the weight of the world seems unbearable, perhaps the remedy lies in the tender refuge of a kiss. A natural, effortless way to brighten your day and strengthen your bonds, no prescription needed. Isn't it amazing to consider the profound power of a simple kiss? 3. Kissing: The silent power of relationships Have you ever wondered why a kiss feels like two souls weaving together? Beyond its romantic allure lies a profound ability to strengthen the bonds between partners. More than just a physical interaction. Kissing is a powerful symbol of emotional connection, a silent dialogue of love and trust. But how does such a simple act have the power to strengthen relationships? Kissing is an exchange of more than affection - it's a mutual sharing of emotions and vulnerability. This act triggers the release of oxytocin, known as the 'bonding hormone', which increases feelings of attachment and makes partners feel closer and more connected. It acts as an emotional glue, promoting a sense of belonging and security. Kissing also acts as a non-verbal communication tool, expressing desires, emotions and mutual understanding. It can deepen the quality of a relationship, make it more resilient and keep the initial spark alive. So when you kiss, remember that it's not just a moment of closeness, it's a crucial act in nurturing the bond of your relationship. 4. The sweet way to heart health with a big kiss Have you ever wondered why, after a passionate kiss, your heart races as if you've been running, but you haven't moved an inch? It's not just an emotional flutter; kissing has real, measurable benefits for your heart health. But how does this intimate act double as a mini cardio session? When you kiss, your heart rate increases - a sign not just of excitement, but of your body receiving a beneficial boost. This accelerated heartbeat helps to dilate your blood vessels, increasing blood flow and lowering blood pressure. Every kiss is like a gentle workout for your heart and blood vessels, providing a subtle but effective tune-up. As well as improving circulation, the cardiovascular stimulation of kissing can also reduce the risk of heart disease, acting as a light, enjoyable workout. Kissing also acts as a natural stress reliever. Considering that chronic stress can lead to high blood pressure and heart complications, the calming effect of kissing not only improves your mood, but also supports your heart health. Could kissing be the most enjoyable activity for heart health? While it doesn't replace traditional exercise, it's a delightful addition to any heart care programme. The next time you share a kiss, you're not just sharing affection with your partner, you're also caring for your heart. So why not lean in for a kiss, knowing that it's a small act with a big impact on your heart health? 5. A natural elixir against pain - soft kisses Have you ever noticed how a kiss can erase the pain of a headache or soothe a cramp? It's not just whimsy. There's science behind kissing's pain-relieving powers. When we kiss, our bodies release endorphins, powerful natural painkillers that outperform some drugs. These endorphins not only distract from pain, they actually relieve it. In addition, kissing increases blood circulation, which improves the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to cells, aiding recovery and reducing the pain of conditions such as headaches or cramps. This increase in blood flow, triggered by the excitement of a kiss, contributes significantly to pain relief. So the next time pain strikes, remember that a kiss could be a simple, sweet and natural remedy. Who knew that the gentle expression of love could also be an effective pain reliever? 6. Kissing - A boost for trust and connection Have you ever thought about the power of a kiss to lift your spirits and enrich your relationship? Beyond the initial thrill, kissing has a profound effect on self-esteem and relationship satisfaction. But how does this intimate gesture achieve such powerful results? At its core, kissing is an affirmation of affection and acceptance, a shared moment that signifies desire and value. This mutual recognition, especially from a loved one, boosts self-esteem by reinforcing the feeling of being valued and loved. It's a powerful reminder of your valued place in someone else's life, improving your self-image and overall mood. In addition, the act of kissing fosters stronger bonds between partners, increasing relationship satisfaction. It creates a positive feedback loop; as your self-esteem improves, so does your emotional connection with your partner, leading to a more secure and fulfilling relationship. 7. Decoding physical compatibility through kisses Have you ever pondered the significance of that first kiss and its make-or-break vibe? Beyond emotional bonding, a kiss serves as a crucial gauge of physical compatibility. But how does this simple act provide insight into a potential future with someone? A kiss is not just an exchange of emotions; it's a subtle test of biological compatibility. Through the tastes and smells experienced in a kiss, we unconsciously assess our partner's immune system, looking for a complementary genetic mix that promises healthier offspring. Although it may seem scientific, this process deeply influences our romantic choices. The quality of a kiss can reflect levels of connection and attraction, influencing our feelings and potential relationship trajectory. It's as if our instincts guide us towards partners who are biologically as well as emotionally compatible with us. The next time you kiss, think of it as more than a gesture of affection. It's a complex interaction of biology, emotion and chemistry that will lead you to someone truly compatible. A kiss, in its silence, speaks volumes about the bond and potential future with your partner. 8. The quick fix for stress and sadness - more than a healthy kiss Caught in a moment of stress or sadness? A kiss could be the simplest yet most profound remedy. More than just a sign of affection, it's a powerful mood-lifter and stress-buster. How does it work? Kissing triggers a biochemical reaction that releases endorphins - your body's feel-good chemicals - similar to the rush you feel after a good laugh or a session at the gym. It also lowers cortisol, the stress hormone, bringing calm and reducing tension. So the next time life's pressures mount, remember the power of a kiss. It's a delightful way to brighten your day and ease your worries, showing how the simplest expressions of love can be incredibly transformative. 9. Kiss your way to burning calories Who knew a kiss could be a mini workout? Kissing may not replace time at the gym, but it does have calorie-burning benefits. A passionate kiss works several facial muscles, burning calories in the process. A deep kiss can activate up to 34 facial muscles, giving your metabolism a little boost and leading to calorie loss. Imagine burning 30 to 60 calories in a 30-minute make-out session - that's a guilt-free treat! This fun fact reminds us that pleasure and health can go hand in hand. Kissing adds a playful, romantic element to our wellness routines, proving that affection can also contribute to our fitness goals. So next time, remember that a kiss isn't just romantic. It's a sweet part of staying active. Who says fitness can't be fun? 10. A key to health and relationship longevity Dr Jen Carl, a respected health expert, offers a fresh perspective on the health benefits of kissing, highlighting its role beyond romance. According to Dr Carl, kissing is a powerful wellness tool that boosts the immune system, reduces stress and improves mental health, rivalling many traditional health practices. Importantly, Dr Carl points out that kissing strengthens relationships, with the release of oxytocin during a kiss strengthening emotional bonds and contributing to the longevity of relationships. This link between emotional intimacy and health underlines the value of incorporating simple acts of affection into our lives. Kiss yourself healthy When you consider that kissing touches our lives - from burning calories and relieving pain to boosting our mental health and strengthening our relationships - it becomes clear that this simple act is anything but trivial. Experts like Dr Jen Carl remind us that beyond the immediate joy and connection it brings, kissing has deep, multifaceted benefits for our well-being and the longevity of our relationships. She underscores the profound impact that affection and human connection have on our health, and invites us to embrace these moments not only for their romantic value, but for the significant role they play in our overall well-being. As we reflect on the insights and revelations about the power of kissing, let's carry forward the appreciation for the small, intimate gestures that enrich our lives in a big way. You don ́t have someone to Kiss? In Basel you can find the best kiss partners.Thu, 01 Feb 2024 14:13:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/eight-powerful-suicide-prevention-quotes/Many of us have been touched by suicide and the loss of a loved one, family member or friend. Ahead of World Suicide Prevention Day (September 10), Calvin Holbrook has put together these eight powerful suicide prevention quotes to offer hope to anyone in need. It’s estimated that around 15 per cent of the adult population will experience depression at one point or another throughout life. And, accordingly to the World Health Organization, that means there are currently over 300 million people in the world currently living with depression. Whatever the cause, for some of these people, the emotional pain will become too much and they will consider suicide as an option of escape. In fact, around 800,000 people go through with suicide every year, and for each of those, there are around 25 times more suicide attempts. There are many factors alongside and including depression and mental illness that influence a person’s decision to go through with suicide: chronic ill health, guilt, trauma, substance abuse or loss, for example. The tragic thing is that many of those who consider suicide don’t really want to die; they just don’t know how to deal with the pain they’re experiencing. • JOIN US! In need of support? Sign-up free and join a community that cares • If you’ve ever been suicidal or know someone that has, you’ll know that without help, escaping that feeling of wanting to end it all is difficult. If you’re having difficulty opening up to others about your problems, sometimes searching for inspirational words online can offer some psychological comfort and help to get you through the day. We've put together these suicide prevention quotes to give anyone who is considering ending their life a chance to stop, reflect and reevaluate their situation. Inspirational quotes can’t take the pain away, but they may allow someone the chance to shift their perspective just enough to give them a little bit of hope and get through another day. Please feel free to share these powerful messages of hope. Suicide prevention quotes: 8 powerful sayings 1. “Soak up the views. Take in the bad weather and the good weather. You are not the storm.” Matt Haig Author Matt Haig – who lives with depression and has written widely on it – cleverly compares the ever-changing weather to our mental health. Haig himself came close to suicide aged 24 while living in Ibiza, so this suicide prevention quote is particularly poignant. What Haig is saying is that although depression comes and goes, it is not who we are and should not define us. In his best-selling book, Reasons to Stay Alive, he writes: “Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person.” His inspirational quote suggests that we should be mindful of our depressive thoughts and recognize that they can – and will – pass. 2. Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better. – Unknown Those who are deeply depressed and considering suicide usually have difficulty realizing that their life can get better. The aforementioned author Matt Haig is a great example: he was about to kill himself, but now has a successful career and a loving family. If you choose suicide, then you're eliminating future hope and the possibility of finding happiness and enjoyment. When the mind is so dark, it can be hard to see any possibility for future happiness, but it can – and often does – get better. Whether it’s through taking medication, counselling, exercise, eating well, getting into a routine, or setting goals, these steps will help you on your path. Know that it is possible to recover from feelings of depression, pain, and suicidal thoughts. 3. “Never, never, never give up.” Winston Churchill Some people with depression may have been fighting against the illness and/or suicidal tendencies for many months or years. Many of these people don’t actually want to stop living, but they cannot see a way through their despair. Indeed, the act of suicide is often associated with giving up on life. • CONNECT WITH OTHERS Sign-up to happiness.com to openly discuss and prevent suicide • This quote from the British Prime Minister – known for his strong resilience – is a signal to keep fighting. If you have depression and/or suicidal thoughts, you may be in so much pain that you don’t know how you’re going to survive, but if you can just push through each day, it gives hope that things can get better in the future. One day a time, or even one hour at a time. By never giving up you’re quietly building an inner strength and resilience that will fortify you. 4. “If you’re looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it.” – Unknown If you’re thinking about suicide and looking for a sign to stay alive, consider this quote your sign. Whether you realize it or not, you have the opportunity to make a positive difference in this world. Somebody out there can benefit from your unique talents and gifts. Sometimes all you may need to keep going is a simple sign letting you know that someone cares and wants you to keep living. This quote is your sign. 5. “The person who completes suicide, dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand… why?” – Clark Sometimes people who commit suicide are not fully aware – or are in such a dark place – that they don’t consider that taking their own life will create a huge amount of pain for their loved-ones left behind. Imagine how you would feel if a person you care deeply about took their own life. It's difficult to recover from the death of a loved one, but it’s usually harder if the individual committed suicide. The act of suicide leaves people behind with unanswered questions and feelings of confusion and shame, as well as the guilt around being able to prevent the suicide. This suicide prevention quote is realistic because although a suicide may end an individual’s internal pain, the friends and family who loved the person will continue to suffer as a result of their loss. In fact, on average, every suicide leaves an estimated six or more "suicide survivors" — those who've lost someone they care about deeply and are left to struggle with their grief. Furthermore, people who've recently lost someone through suicide are themselves at an increased risk of thinking about, planning, or attempting suicide, further exacerbating the ripple effect of pain and suffering. 6. “If you want to show me that you really love me, don’t say that you would die for me, instead stay alive for me.” – Unknown This suicide prevention quote shows deep sentiment from a friend, family member or a partner in a close relationship. People who are feeling suicidal can often feel like they are a burden to their loved ones, which is not the case. This quote serves as a personal reminder from your loved ones that they would much prefer you to stay in their lives than to leave. If you really want to sacrifice your life, do it by living and contributing to make someone’s else’s life better – rather than eliminating your existence. “Inspirational quotes around suicide prevention can’t take the pain away, but they may allow you to shift your perspective just enough to give yourself a little bit of hope and to get through another day.” 7. “Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.” – Unknown Sometimes suicidal people want to die simply because they believe they have no reason to continue living. It may sound simple, but the fact that you’re alive and your heart is still beating and pumping blood around your body can be reason enough to keep living. Many depressed people are struggling because they're unhappy with their life and work and cannot find a specific life purpose. But, in reality, you don’t need a purpose or reason for being alive. However, if you are alive, you still have the opportunity to do whatever you want in life. Although you may not have awakened to a specific life mission yet, while your heart is still beating you have time to explore what your life purpose could be and find happiness. 8. “When you feel like giving up, just remember the reason why you held on for so long.” – Unknown This is a powerful suicide prevention quote that challenges a person considering ending their life to stop and reconsider the reasons why they’ve continued to stay strong and fight up until now. Most people have powerful reasons – such as their children, family and loved ones – for fighting through their pain and anguish. This quote helps you to think about the parts of your life that hold significant meaning for you and that force you to push through the day and keep going – even when you don’t feel like it. So, whether you want to keep fighting to provide for your family, to be there for your partner or to find your purpose in the the world and make a difference, chances are you do have a reason to keep living. • Main image: shutterstock/Jannarong If you're in a dark place and considering suicide, please reach out to someone you know or through one of these global helplines. You can also discuss suicide, depression, anxiety and other challenges over in our forum on suicidal thoughts. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Anxiety | Loneliness | Abuse | Male loneliness Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes gay artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.Tue, 29 Aug 2023 14:46:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/health-benefits-of-cat-napping/Enjoying a siesta was once thought of as a sign of laziness. But, as Dee Marques explains, the science-backed benefits of cat naps are potent – from reduced blood pressure to improved memory and concentration. Here are five reasons why it's great to get some extra shut-eye... Cat nap, siesta, power nap, micro-sleep… whatever we call it, taking a short nap during the day has been part of many cultures for thousands of years. And yet it seems that this habit is becoming less popular as time goes by, even in cultures that traditionally embraced it. This may be due to misconceptions about what a cat nap is and what it can really do for us. We’ve become used to thinking that we need to be doing something every minute of the waking day in order to feel productive. There’s also some negative connotation to the idea of sleeping during the day, as if it was indicative of laziness. I was under this impression myself for many years, resorting to a strong cup of coffee after lunch to keep me going. Then I got in touch with my Mediterranean origins and realized that taking a short cat nap can be much more beneficial than relying on a shot or two of caffeine! Super siesta: the benefits of cat napping are real Indeed, now I see a cat napping as a way of prioritizing my health and recouping energy to carry on with my day. Since the start of the COVID pandemic, self-care is more important than ever. Many people are feeling low in energy, mentally exhausted, and struggling with depression and anxiety, so taking a cat nap can be a precious break from bad news and stress. And, post-pandemic, if you’re now currently working from home, you may have the best opportunity to try a cat nap and feel its benefits. But first, let’s clear up some misunderstandings surrounding cat naps. So, what exactly is a cat nap? A cat nap or siesta is a short period of sleep that takes place during the day. But how short exactly? That’s a tricky question to answer, and the truth is that there isn’t a single valid answer. Before we get into that, it’s important to mention that duration matters: if a cat nap is too short, it won’t make any difference, and if it’s too long, it can be counterproductive and make you feel tired, or interfere with night-time sleep. For an adult, a cat nap should ideally last between 10 and 20 minutes. Younger adults (in their 20s) can nap for longer without feeling groggy afterwards, and, in general, the older you get, the shorter the cat naps you’ll need. But will just a few minutes really make a difference to how you feel? Well, a 2017 study compared naps lasting anything from 5 to 30 minutes and assessed alertness levels upon waking up. Naps lasting 10 minutes were the most beneficial because they were short (or long) enough to get into Stage 2 sleep, where the body is at rest but doesn’t get into deep sleep, from which it would be harder to wake up. “One study found that cat napping once or twice a week gave the benefit of lowering the risk of stroke, heart failure and heart attack by 48 per cent.” The time at which you have a cat nap is also important. Our bodies have a stronger biological need to take a rest between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. This midday sleepiness is built into our biological clocks. The circadian rhythms cause the body’s energy levels to dip in the mid-afternoon along with a surge in adenosine, one of the compounds that control the sleep-wake cycle. Not only that, but taking a cat nap later than 3 p.m. can make it hard to fall asleep when you go to bed at night. So, what’s the latest you should take a siesta? That depends on your schedule, but ideally plan to wake up from a nap at least 3 – 4 hours before your usual bedtime, or half-way between waking and sleeping. MORE LIKE THIS: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest Deep sleep meditation – the benefits you can take to bed Feel stress-free fast – 11 science-backed techniques And while we’re at it, do cats have anything to do with all this? Actually, they do. If you’re a kitty lover, you’ll probably know that felines love their siestas. On an average day, a cat can sleep for 15 hours through a mix of nightly rest and daytime naps. The expression 'cat nap' itself seems to have been in use since the early 19th century. Five benefits of cat napping Taking a cat nap at the right time of the day and for the right duration can benefit your physical and mental health. Here are five examples: 1. Lower blood pressure A study of 212 adults carried out in Greece found a correlation between napping and systolic blood pressure drops, an average of 3mm Hg for each hour of sleep. According to the authors of the study, these drops in blood pressure are similar to the reductions seen in people that make healthy lifestyle changes or use some medications. These results are interesting because a drop in blood pressure by as little as 2mmHg can reduce the risk of cardiovascular events by up to 10 per cent. 2. A lower risk of heart disease Keeping blood pressure within a normal range lowers the risk of developing heart disease. One study found that cat napping once or twice a week gave the benefit of lowering the risk of stroke, heart failure and heart attack by 48 per cent. Interestingly, these benefits were no longer visible for those who napped more often – six or seven times a week. However, the duration of the cat nap did not seem to make a difference. The five-year study enrolled almost 3,500 people who had no history of cardiovascular disease. Cat naps can reduce blood pressure shutterstock/George Rudy 3. Better concentration It may seem contradictory, but we need to sleep to feel more awake. Napping gives your brain the ability to recoup energy and keep its cognitive skills sharp. Research has been done in professions where alertness and concentration are crucial (like airplane pilots), and the findings show that naps can reduce fatigue and increase focus. 4. Improved memory Researchers from Saarland University in Germany compared nappers and non-nappers and found that those who cat napped did five times better in memory tests. They hypothesised that naps impact the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for long-term memory. 5. Better control over emotions Researchers have found that an afternoon cat nap can improve emotional regulation and make us more resilient to negative emotions. For example, a 2015 study found that people who napped had more tolerance to frustration, and concluded that a midday rest is an efficient way of countering a build-up of alertness that can put us on edge. Tips to help you cat nap For a cat nap to work and have a beneficial impact on health, it’s important to get it right. Here are some suggestions that can help: Find a quiet place It’s hard for the body and brain to unwind enough to fall asleep in noisy environments. If you can’t block out all noise, play some relaxing sounds (like rain sounds or white noise) for the duration of the nap. Keep it dark Exposure to light keeps us awake, so draw the curtains, lower the blinds, turn the lights off, or use an eye mask. Set an alarm Once you’re comfy in bed or the sofa, it may be hard to get up. Set an alarm to make sure you don’t overdo the cat nap. Learn to 'shut off' Taking a cat nap isn’t an excuse to go over worries or things you need to do next. If you find it hard to shut off, it may be useful to do a short relaxation or meditation exercise before your scheduled nap time. Be consistent Like all habits, napping is something that needs to be worked on for a while until the body gets used to it. Schedule naps in your day and stick to the schedule. If you wait until the time is right, naps may never happen! Conclusion: cat naps can be good for you Taking a short siesta or cat nap isn’t a sign of laziness. If anything, it can be a great investment in your health and help you face the rest of the day with higher energy levels and a better mood. So, if you are lucky enough to be able to squeeze a cat nap into your daily routine, do it! • Main image: shutterstock/Kosim Shukurov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our Academy Healthy habits | Better sleep | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Thu, 16 Mar 2023 09:40:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/tips-for-better-sleep/If you have trouble drifting off at night, these 14 sleep hacks from Dee Marques will help you on the way to the land of nod more easily. Tossing and turning will soon be a thing of the past... Sleep problems can be incredibly disruptive to daytime activities and have a negative impact on our health and happiness. But, fortunately, if you can't rest well on a regular basis, there are many sleep hacks you can put into practice to improve the quality of your rest time. Some sleep problems are typically associated with the aging process. Older adults often report that both the quality and quantity of their sleep is affected. They become more sensitive to their environment, are more likely to take medication that interferes with sleep, and more likely to experience other age-related conditions, such as producing less melatonin, the hormone responsible for regulating sleep. Other common problems include insomnia, multiple waking during the night, restless leg syndrome, and a reduction in the total number of sleep hours, as well as sleep apnea, whereby breathing gets blocked during sleep. 14 sleep hacks for a good night's rest Developing better sleep has a positive effect on our health, and scientific studies prove that some age-related conditions improve when we get enough restful sleep. Indeed, this is the case of inflammation, heart disease, and depression. There’s also a direct link between sleep and cognitive function, as older adults with sleep problems report poor memory, attention span issues, and higher stress levels. By contrast, good sleep brings benefits ranging from increased emotional well-being to better concentration, higher tolerance for pain, and a stronger immune system. So, if you can't sleep well, follow these 14 science-backed sleep hacks and learn how to fall asleep quicker today. 1. Bedtime ritual We're creatures of habit, and as we age, our threshold for changes in our daily routine becomes lower. Consistency in our bedtime routine helps set our brains in the right mood and sends the signal that it’s time to switch off for the day. Plus, an unwinding routine can help counter any triggers that cause us to stay awake, so do whatever helps your body and mind relax, whether it's listening to music, aromatherapy, writing in your journal, meditation or self-massage. Writing a journal is a ritual sleep hack shutterstock/WAYHOME studio 2. No electronics in the bedroom It's hard now so many of us are currently working from home, but our next sleep hack is to try not to use the bedroom as a second living room or office. Instead, keep it for the purpose for which it is intended: sleep! Indeed, studies have shown that exposure to blue light (light given off by electronic devices) interferes with our ability to get a good night's rest, so if you’ve grown used to reading on your e-reader, phone or tablet before bed, consider switching back to printed books. If you must use your electronic devices, change the brightness settings or use a blue-light blocking app. 3. Avoid other bright lights In addition to blue light, bright light from regular light bulbs can also disrupt sleep patterns. Studies have found that bright home lighting interferes with melatonin and disrupts the circadian rhythm (our internal body clocks), making our bodies believe that the day is still young and delaying sleep onset. So, for better rest, or next sleep solution is to use dimmers or avoid bright light for at least one hour before bedtime, although some researchers recommend a longer window of up to three hours. 4. Beware of caffeine Yep, this is one sleep hack we know you're already aware of. But caffeine is not only present in coffee or tea (including decaf varieties), but also in chocolate, energy bars, some soft and diet drinks and ice cream that contains chocolate or coffee. Stimulants cause an increase in blood pressure and stress hormones, which is not what you want right before going to bed. “If you can't rest well on a regular basis, there are many sleep hacks you can put into practice to improve the quality of your rest time.” It’s important to find out what your “cut-off” time for caffeine is. Be aware that it may change as you get older, as some studies report that caffeine sensitivity changes as we age. You should also take into account that caffeine interacts with certain medications that are usually prescribed to older adults. So, if you've recently started taking drugs to treat asthma or respiratory disease, antibiotics, estrogen, thyroid medication, or any drugs that slow down blood clotting, talk to your doctor about possible interactions. Watch yourself: find out what your cut off time for caffeine is shutterstock/Dragon Grkic 5. Eat a light dinner When planning your dinner, it’s best to avoid eating spicy, salty or oily foods. Also, try to reduce or avoid foods that contain starches and simple carbs, such as pasta or bread. These are hard to digest, can induce heartburn, and cause insulin levels to spike, meaning you may experience a sugar crash in the middle of the night. 6. Remove diuretics Keeping on the diet sleep hacks, be careful of consuming food and drink that might have you waking to head to the bathroom in the night. Tea and fruit juices are common diuretics (foods that makes us urinate), but you should also be aware of less obvious culprits such as celery, cucumber, watermelon, ginger, asparagus, lemon, beetroot, cabbage and pineapple. Plan your dinner so that there’s only a small amount of any foods that contain a high amount of water, which may wake you up in the night. 7. Increase activity levels Physical activity such as mindful running and swimming can help you fall asleep, as long as you find the right time to exercise. Indeed, working out right before bed may not be not be the ideal sleep hack since exercise increases the heart rate and releases stress hormones like adrenaline. Generally speaking, avoid exercising within three hours of bedtime. An afternoon jog can prepare you for rest shutterstock/Rido 8. The right temperature If you can't sleep well, it could be that your bedroom is too warm. Your sleeping space needs to be set up in a way that helps you unwind and fall asleep easily. One sleep hack is to pay special attention to temperature, because as we age, circulation to hands and feet lessens, and it’s easier to feel cold. A study found that having warm feet helped people fall asleep faster, so use an electric blanket, socks, or even a hot water bottle to warm up. And although everyone is different, research points at the ideal bedroom temperature is somewhere around 20°C. 9. Don’t postpone bedtime Most of us rely on an alarm clock to wake up, but setting an alarm to remind you it’s time to go to bed may be useful if you find yourself postponing your bedtime again and again. This sleeping hack will help you establish a routine and train your body and mind to go to bed at the same time every night. 10. Choose quality mattress and pillows The aging process changes our bodies, and having good support for the spine and neck becomes particularly important. If you have trouble falling asleep or wake up feeling tired and achey, it may be time to replace your mattress and pillows. Scientists found that a medium-firm mattress can help with back pain, which is common in older adults. And less pain equals better sleep. Choosing quality pillows is another sleep solution 11. Daytime naps Naps can help us feel more alert and rested, but try not to do so for more than 30 minutes, and do it at the same time every day (not in the evenings, however). In fact, naps should not replace lost sleep at night, otherwise you will be aggravating sleep problems and making it harder to get into a regular night-time sleep routine. MORE LIKE THIS: Cat naps – 5 health benefits of taking a siesta Deep sleep meditation – the benefits you can take to bed Feel stress-free fast – 11 science-backed techniques 12. Learn how to disconnect It’s easy to use the time we have before we fall asleep to go over our day in our heads, but this can easily turn into a formula for worry. Instead, stop ruminating and replace this habit with something that sets your mind on a positive note, such as writing a gratitude journal or meditating. “If you can't sleep well, it could be that your bedroom is too warm. Your sleeping space needs to be set up in a way that helps you unwind and fall asleep easily.” Also, choose your bedtime reading materials carefully, since anything intellectually demanding or even a highly-engaging thriller may cause your brain to go into alert mode. 13. Don’t toss and turn Being aware of the fact that 'sleep is not happening' may cause you to feel stressed and anxious, creating a catch-22 situation that will not help you get further shut-eye. If you can’t sleep, get out of bed and read, write, or do any other soothing activity that’s part of your night-time ritual until you feel sleepy again. 14. Vitamins and good sleep Our final sleep hack concerns vitamins. Vitamin deficiency is one of the causes of insomnia, since some B-group vitamins play a key role in the production of melatonin. But at the same time, taking certain vitamins right before going to bed can be counter-productive. A study from the USA revealed that vitamin users were more likely to wake up during the night, and while the exact link between vitamins and sleep quality isn't confirmed, you may want to choose another time to take vitamins and supplements to be on the safe side. Conclusions: sleep hacks and solutions Although the aging process can negatively affect our ability to get a restful night of sleep, you should remember that you’re not powerless. If you're tired (literally!) of asking yourself 'why can't I sleep?', following our 14 sleep hacks should increase your chances of enjoying better sleep and feeling more alert. This will help you to achieve greater happiness and a healthier lifestyle, irrespective of your age. ● Main image: shutterstock/Kamil Macniak happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Nature | Stress Management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Thu, 16 Mar 2023 09:04:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/science-psychology/benefits-of-kindness/From boosting your mood to lowering stress, the power of kindness is real. In fact, science shows the benefits of being kind are greater for the giver than the receiver. So, as Calvin Holbrook suggests, help others and help yourself, too. Can you remember the last time a stranger was kind to you? Maybe someone held a door open or offered you help with directions in the street? Or, perhaps you can recall the last time you helped somebody. After recently carrying out a few altruistic acts myself, I wanted to find out more about the power and benefits of kindness. Just before Christmas I passed a homeless man sitting outside a London Tube station. Coming out of a nearby coffee shop after paying almost £3 for a flat white, I couldn’t justify spending that on a hot drink while he was sat with nothing. I started a conversation to find out how he was doing and he was thankful when I offered him some change and a banana. However, he seemed most grateful when I simply asked him what his name was. When I got up to leave, he looked directly into my eyes and gave me a genuine ‘thank you.’ Later that week, I spotted an elderly lady hauling a huge suitcase down some stairs – she was clearly struggling. Her face lit up with joy when I offered a hand. She was clearly touched someone had made the effort to assist, and I too walked away with a spring in my step and smile on my face. The power of kindness: a ripple effect In these examples the power of kindness is obvious for the recipient: they were in a moment of need and received assistance. But the power of altruism also extended to me – in fact, one major benefit of kindness is that the love spreads both ways; it’s a win-win situation. A positive sign: showing kindness is easy and free After connecting with these people I felt a sense of happiness and pride to know I'd made a small but meaningful impact on their day. In fact, this feel-good sensation stayed with me for hours afterwards. Experiencing this feeling has also made it more likely that I'll carry out more random acts of kindness in the future. Likewise, I like to think that the power of kindness can potentially rub off on the people you'll help out in the future, so that they, in turn, will be more likely to assist others. In fact, it turns out that science backs up this kindness 'ripple effect'. “The power of kindness can potentially rub off on other people you'll help out in the future, so that they, in turn, will be more likely to assist other.” A 2018 study focused on employees at a Spanish company. Workers were asked to either a) perform acts of kindness for colleagues, or b) count the number of kind acts they received from coworkers. The results showed that those who received acts of kindness became happier, demonstrating the value of benevolence for the receiver. However, those who delivered the acts of kindness benefited even more than the receivers. That’s because not only did they show a similar trend towards increased happiness, but they also had an boost in life and job satisfaction, as well as a decrease in depression. Furthermore, the effects of altruism were contagious. Those colleagues on the receiving end of the acts of kindness ended up spontaneously paying it forward, themselves doing nice things for other colleagues. This study suggests the ripple effect really is one of the benefits of being nice. Kindness and psychological flourishing Further studies back up the power of kindness. In another, researchers asked members of the public to either perform acts of kindness – such as opening doors for strangers – for one month, or to perform kind acts for themselves, such as treating themselves to a new purchase. The researchers measured the participants’ level of so-called ‘psychological flourishing’ – their emotional, psychological, and social well-being at the start and end of the experiment. By the end, those who had carried out kind acts for others had higher levels of psychological flourishing compared to those who acted kindly towards themselves. Kindly acts also led to higher levels of positive emotions. MORE LIKE THIS: Why is volunteering important? These 7 reasons show the benefits Kindness: a peak inside the power of this simple action Human kindness: why we need it more than ever Meanwhile, another study incorporated cold hard cash to test the powers of altruism. Researchers gave participants either $5 or $20 which they had to spend on themselves or others before the end of the day. They measured the participants’ happiness levels before giving them the money and then called them on the phone in the evening. The results? Those who had spent the money on others were happier than those who'd used the money for their own needs. The physical effects of kindness So, science shows that being kind and helpful clearly has a positive and uplifting effect on those carrying out the act. But what exactly is happening in the body? Here are four ways keys in which the physical benefits of kindness can be felt: 1. Kindness releases feel-good hormones When you do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high'. 2. Kindness can reduce anxiety Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety. Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration. Good to give: kindness benefits both the giver and receiver 3. Kindness may help alleviate certain illness Inflammation in the body is linked to numerous health problems including chronic pain, diabetes, obesity, and migraines. For older generations at least, volunteering as an act of kindness may be of benefit to reduce inflammation. In fact, according to one study of older adults aged 57-85, “volunteering manifested the strongest association with lower levels of inflammation.” Additionally, oxytocin, also released with acts of kindness, reduces inflammation, and it can directly affect the chemical balance of your heart. According to Dr. David Hamilton, “oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide in blood vessels, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure and therefore oxytocin is known as a ‘cardioprotective’ hormone because it protects the heart (by lowering blood pressure).” 4. Kindness can reduce your stress levels Helping others takes you out of your own mind and can potentially help to build relationships with other people. Anything that helps you to build bonds with other people is known as 'affiliative behavior'. And, according to one study on the effects of pro-social behavior — action intended to help others on stress, “affiliative behavior may be an important component of coping with stress and indicate that engaging in pro-social behavior might be an effective strategy for reducing the impact of stress on emotional functioning.” “Science and studies show that being kind and helpful clearly has a positive and uplifting effect on those carrying out the act.” Furthermore, once we establish an 'affiliative connection' with someone — a relationship of friendship, love, or other positive bonding — we feel emotions that can boost our immune system. So, it seems continued altruism can boost your happiness and improve relationships and connections, in turn indirectly boosting your health. Shifting to kindness So, knowing this, why aren't people benefiting from the power of kindness? Why aren’t more people making a conscious effort to change the lives of others? For one, in our fast-paced world, benevolence and compassion often end up taking a back seat to self-interest – and selfies. People don’t seem to take the time to stop and help others or even notice what’s going on as we're often wrapped up in our own lives. Helping hand: the power of kindness is proven Also, some people believe that showing kindness and compassion is a weakness and will only lead to being taken advantage of. But, the truth is, it’s in our human DNA to show kindness. In fact, we’re the only mammals with an extended gestation period, and while other animals rely on support for a short period before becoming self-reliant, we depend on the care of our caregivers to provide our needs. Indeed, kindness is fundamental to the human existence – we're literally wired for it. Kindness is not something that demands hard work or huge amounts of time. It’s something all of us can strive to achieve every day. And, knowing that the power of kindness and its benefits are immense for ourselves and not just the receiver, why wouldn’t you want to help others more? ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Volunteering Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin is the happiness.com magazine editor, as well being an artist and lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.Fri, 10 Feb 2023 10:49:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/cope-with-tinnitus/The ringing in the ears associated with tinnitus can dramatically impact on a person's quality of life. However, as Calvin Holbrook suggests, there are many ways you can cope with tinnitus. Here are ten practical ideas based on his own experience. Writing this now, with my Spotify Peaceful Piano Playlist gently playing soothing background music, I can still hear a high-pitched hissing noise in both of my ears. It's there all of the time; never goes away. Usually, it's a single, constant whirring noise. At other times it changes pitch or other sounds pop in and fade out again. And while the ringing in my ears often varies, currently my ability to cope with tinnitus largely remains unchanged. But it wasn't always like this. Rewind one year ago and things were very different. I'd had temporary bursts over tinnitus over the past decade: I'd suddenly hear high-pitched noises but they would then fade down to zero again within a few seconds. However, one day, that familiarly shrill noise came in but didn't stop: I was now living with chronic tinnitus and would (probably) have to learn how to cope with it for the rest of my life. I can clearly still recall the fresh hell of developing chronic tinnitus after a period of extended stress: the realization it will probably never go away; trying everything to drown out the sound; the sleepless nights, trying (yet failing) to focus on work. Unfortunately, in addition to developing tinnitus I also experienced hyperacusis, a condition in which your ears become super sensitive to sound. Listening to someone handle cutlery or plates was enough to send me over the edge. When tinnitus first becomes chronic, your brain immediately switches into alarm mode, imaging the internal noise as harmful or dangerous. Furthermore, focusing on anything else apart from the ringing seems like an impossible task. Like me, you may experience panic, anxiety, depression and anger as you try to cope with tinnitus symptoms. You may think to yourself: ’why me?’ And you will probably ask yourself many other questions about your tinnitus too: ‘Will it ever stop?’ ‘Will it get louder?’ ‘Am I going deaf?’ ‘Am I stuck with this for the rest of my life?’ Tinnitus: things will get better While it all feels pretty dark in the beginning, I'm here to tell you that there is hope on the horizon and that living with tinnitus is possible. Indeed, if you've recently been struck down with tinnitus and are struggling to cope, please be assured: you should see improvements with time and start to feel better mentally about it. However, if you're currently feeling like it’s an emergency or having dark/suicidal thoughts, please seek help ASAP from your healthcare provider. You can learn techniques to help you cope with tinnitus The hyper-alert state you experience with tinnitus can last many weeks or months. However, day by day your brain begins to get used to the strange new sounds you're hearing and will gradually begin to get used to them. This process is called 'habituation' and just knowing that it will happen naturally can help you to learn to deal with your tinnitus. Indeed, I – and millions others across the world – are proof of that. A year after being diagnosed with chronic tinnitus I am coping with it much better. Of course, like everyone else I have good and bad days (so-called tinnitus 'spikes' – increases or drastic changes in pitch/loudness – can be a challenge), but my condition currently doesn’t impact on my happiness to a great extent. Coping with tinnitus: 10 techniques It's important to point out that the internal sounds those of us living with tinnitus experience are all different. Although the level of my ringing is bothersome, it is not unbearable. This may change in the future. I've read stories of people that experience ringing at extremely high sound levels: that, of course, must make the condition more challenging and impact on a person's ability to cope with tinnitus. However, whatever type of tinnitus you are experiencing, there are many practical steps you can take to cope with tinnitus and make it less intrusive in your life. Here are 10 tips to get you started. 1. Accept it The first step in coping with tinnitus lies in acceptance of the condition. However, this is often easier said than done in the beginning. As much as you may want to fight against the ringing in your ears – especially during those first traumatic weeks or months – doing so will only lead to disappointment and frustration. While some people experience temporary tinnitus because of trauma to the head or an ear infection, those of us with chronic tinnitus are usually stuck with the noises for life (saying that, there have been cases where people's tinnitus appears to have vanished). Accepting your condition is essential for you to be able to deal with tinnitus. Essentially, you first need to know if your tinnitus is temporary or chronic and if you have any hearing damage. Visit a high street ophthalmologist or ask your GP to refer you to an ear, nose and throat (ENT) specialist. 2. Relaxation The anxiety you feel when first getting tinnitus is to be expected but it will only make you feel more stressed, and, in turn, exacerbate tinnitus. Indeed, it's believed that stress really impacts on tinnitus, so it’s important that you reduce any stressors in your life to keep tinnitus levels in check. In fact, many people living with tinnitus use their condition as a barometer of their stress levels – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something in their life is out of balance. “Many people coping with tinnitus use it as a barometer of stress – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something is out of balance.” Relaxation is obviously a key way to combat stress and therefore improve how you deal with tinnitus. Practising meditation and conscious breathing exercises are practical and simple tools you can use to immediately reduce anxiety and stress. Incorporate both into your daily routine to feel the benefits. Also, be sure to spend as much time in nature as possible. As well as the relaxation and proven mental health benefits of forest bathing, the sounds of nature help to soothe that pesky tinnitus ringing. The crashing of waves; the rustling of branches and leaves, bird song – the many noises of nature offer your ears and brain a calming distraction. Sea sounds help to mask tinnitus noise shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 3. Practising mindfulness Making mindfulness a part of your daily routine is one of the best things you can do when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Mindfulness won't make tinnitus go away, but it aims to make it less intrusive. Indeed, mindfulness teaches us how to live with difficulties such as tinnitus, without having to fight or change them. Practising mindfulness can help us help us to develop a better relationship with our tinnitus, aiding the habituation process. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools In 2017 the British Tinnitus Assoctiation published two research papers that showed that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is an effective treatment for those people living with distressing tinnitus. The results showed that tinnitus patients undergoing MBCT were associated with significant, reliable and ongoing improvements in their tinnitus-related and emotional distress. Luckily, mindfulness is something we can all practise by ourselves and for free. It involves paying complete and mindful attention to whatever we're doing in the moment: breathing, eating, showering, walking or noticing the physical sensations in our body, for example. We have some great mindfulness tips you can incorporate into your daily routine to help you to become less focused on your tinnitus. 4. Finding your flow Personally, experiencing ‘flow’ is the most efficient way to cope with my own tinnitus. 'Flow' is that state in which you are so totally absorbed and engaged in an activity that you enjoy that time seems to stand still. For example, I find my flow when I'm making an artwork or editing an article. RELATED: Flow state and happiness Sometimes my attention is so focused in the state of flow that it can seem like my tinnitus has stopped (for a while at least!). Flow is really an act of mindfulness, and as outlined above, mindfulness is one of the scientifically-proven best ways to deal with tinnitus. 5. Staying busy Finding your flow is one of the best ways to deal with your tinnitus as it helps to shift your awareness to something other than the internal noises you are dealing with. Similarly, I find that staying busy – in a non-stressful way of course – keeps my focus off of my tinnitus so it’s easier to cope with. Sitting around in silence is when tinnitus may start to bother you the most, so staying active and on-the-go helps to keep it stop dominating your mind. 6. Exercising with yoga OK, we all know the drill about exercise: it boosts your physical and mental health, helping to lift depression and anxiety (which you could be more vulnerable to if you are living with tinnitus). Exercise also combats against stress which, as explained above, is a major influencing factor when it comes to tinnitus levels. Yoga, in particular, is an exercise that has been found to help people cope better with tinnitus. A small 2018 study from Mersin University in Turkey indicated that practising yoga may reduce life stress and symptoms of tinnitus. Researchers followed 12 participants who practised guided yoga over three months involving poses, breathing exercises and meditations. The researchers hypothesized that because tinnitus symptoms are often linked to stress, and because yoga is stress-relieving, yoga may help decrease symptoms for patients living with chronic tinnitus. “Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest my tinnitus always seems louder the following day.” Elsewhere, Polish researchers conducted a similar study in 2019. It followed 25 patients with chronic tinnitus through 12 weeks of yoga training. The researchers identified that participants benefitted most from improved sense of control over tinnitus, lessened intrusiveness, improved quality of life and better sleep. The last point of improved sleep is important (as we shall see next). Importantly, whatever exercise you choose to do, working out will help to tire your body and lead to an increased chance of falling asleep quickly. Yoga is a perfect way to shift awareness shutterstock/Ulza 7. Prioritising good sleep Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest, my tinnitus always seems louder the following day. However – as you will no doubt know – sometimes falling asleep can be difficult for those of us with chronic tinnitus. That’s because tinnitus appears to sound worse at night – there are fewer external noises to mask the internal sounds, so we may have 'external' silence but have to put up with our 'internal' noises. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest One thing I love to do to help shift awareness from my tinnitus when going to bed is follow a body scan meditation script. Gradually tensing and releasing different body parts and feeling the sensations it brings directs your thoughts away from your tinnitus and to those other places in your body. You can also find ways to externally ‘mask’ your tinnitus sounds at night to help you drift off more easily. In my first few months of living with chronic tinnitus, I used mobile apps such as the excellent T-Minus to play 'white noise' such as rain sound, which works wonders balancing out my high-pitched tinnitus. There are also plenty of great YouTube videos of rain sounds that you can play in the background while you're in bed. 8. Exploring masking Sound-masking devices such as the apps mentioned above provide an external noise that partially drowns out the internal ringing of tinnitus. As well as using apps you can also try: having calming piano music on in the background leaving a fan or the TV on opening a window to let in some external noise Furthermore, if you have hearing loss in addition to tinnitus, there are now hearing aids with inbuilt white noise generators which help many with the condition cope with tinnitus symptoms. Whatever masking method you choose, always set the volume of the device a notch lower than the perceived sound of your tinnitus – you don’t want to drown out the sound completely or you may find it harder to habituate. 9. Talking to someone It’s important to remember that you don’t have to cope with tinnitus alone. As the number of people who live with persistent tinnitus is thought to be around 13 per cent, there’s a chance someone in your close circle is going through the same thing. Open up to family members and friends, or put your thoughts out on social media if you feel comfortable sharing your tinnitus story – you may be surprised by the responses. However, friends and family may not be able to support you unless they have experienced tinnitus themselves, so they may not realise how distressing tinnitus can be (or even know what it is). If this is the case, do connect with someone who has dealt with tinnitus themselves in order to get the help you need. In the UK there are tinnitus support groups up and down the country where you can meet in person to discuss living well with tinnitus. “Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it.” The internet is also full of tinnitus support groups and forums such as the excellent TinnitusTalk forum which is full of useful and insightful threads. However, do so with caution! Be careful when browsing for tinnitus help online as you will come across many dubious ads for methods or items claiming to stop or cure tinnitus. Unfortunately there is no cure for tinnitus, so please don't waste your money. Finally, if you prefer a friendly voice in real time, the British Tinnitus Association offers a confidential tinnitus helpline. You can call its team for support. 10. Exploring your tinnitus This final suggestion may seem like the last thing you want to do, but it actually brings us right back to the first tinnitus coping tip of 'acceptance'. Depending on your personal tinnitus noise level, you may find it beneficial to employ some mindfulness techniques and simply sit with your tinnitus for a while. Try to listen to it with curiosity and without judgement. Take some time to observe your tinnitus and ask yourself some questions about it. Does your tinnitus noise level stay the same or does it get louder or quieter? Does it stay at the same pitch or do you hear new sounds come in and out? Does it sound the same in your left and right side? If you feel comfortable and ready for this type of exercise, you can even sit and meditate on your tinnitus, bringing all your attention to the sounds and your breathing. Exploring your tinnitus in this way may seem difficult if you've bee recently diagnosed with the condition, but realizing that tinnitus is just 'there' and cannot harm you can help you to cope with its day-to-day symptoms. The takeaway: dealing with tinnitus Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it. If we fight against our tinnitus, we are more likely to struggle. But, if we learn to accept it and live with it, habituation to tinnitus can become easier. Whatever type of sounds you experience – hissing, whistling, humming or buzzing – by following the ten tips above, coping with tinnitus should become easier. Hopefully, as is the case with myself, tinnitus will just become another part of your life, and not a dominating factor. • Main image: shutterstock/aleks333 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our Academy Resilience | Gratitude | Self-care Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes gay artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.Wed, 01 Feb 2023 02:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/science-psychology/power-of-hugging/The coronavirus pandemic put a stop to embracing friends and family. But the power of a hug should never been underestimated. With National Hugging Day on 21 January 2023, Dee Marques shares seven science-backed reasons why we all need physical embrace. 'Sometimes, you just need a hug'. This may be one of the most repeated sayings of popular wisdom, but, in fact, science shows that there is a lot of truth to this sentence. Sadly, during the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic the majority of us have been strongly advised not to embrace friends, family or loved-ones. Furthermore, the pandemic has lead to increased levels of depression and anxiety, and one of the simplest things we could do to ease that pain – sharing the power of a hug – has been denied to us. Over the past couple of years many of us have realised just how important personal affection and touch is. During 'regular' life, in our pursuit of happiness we usually focus on things like personal development, health and relationships with others. But sometimes, we place too much importance on long-term goals, and we overlook the power of smaller but equally effective things. One of those things is the power of hugging others and how this gesture contributes to our overall well-being. In fact, giving or receiving a hug or embrace can do wonders for our mood. When stress piles up and life gets tough, a hug can be way more powerful than any words of encouragement. And there’s a reason for that: as humans, we are wired to respond to touch and physical proximity, and there’s a strong connection between touch and emotion. The power of hugging: 7 benefits Indeed, as hugging is so important to our happiness and well-being, let's explore seven of the main powers of hugging and the role this gesture plays in benefiting our physical and mental health. As you'll discover, embracing friends and family – even strangers – is a powerful healing tool, so we encourage you to enjoy it – on and beyond National Hugging Day! 1. Stress and pain reduction One of the most obvious benefits of hugging is stress reduction. You only need to think about how much of a relief you feel when you’re upset and receive a genuine hug. Science confirms this too: a 2010 study from the University of California, Los Angeles, found that participants were better able to cope with physical pain and stress related to unpleasant situations if they were arm-in-arm with their partners. More recent research from 2018 suggests that hugs act as a buffer against negative experiences. Michael L. M. Murphy, Denise Janicki-Deverts, and Sheldon Cohen from the University of Pittsburgh carried out a study involving around 400 adults. The results showed that unhappy or negative experiences – the kind that might normally ruin our day – actually become much easier to deal with when we receive a hug from a loved one. Hug yourself happy: science says it works 2. Reduced anxiety and fear The negative effects of fear, anxiety and low self-esteem can also be reduced by the power of a hug. In fact, research from the VU University Amsterdam has found this to be true even when a hug is reduced to a one-second pat on the back or to touching an inanimate object, such as a teddy bear. “Even fleeting and seemingly trivial instances of interpersonal touch may help people to deal more effectively with existential concern,” explained lead researcher Sander Koole. Interestingly, some believe that many people are touch deprived and that’s precisely why they experience low mood or anxiety. In this scenario, the powerful benefits of hugging become obvious. 3. Immunity boost A stronger immune system is one of the more surprising benefits of hugging. Just as stress can wreak havoc with our immune system, science suggests that hugging can strengthen it. For example, a 2014 study from Carnegie Mellon University had around 400 people document their perceived sense of social support (including whether they received hugs) and later exposed them to the common cold virus. “The negative effects of fear, anxiety and low self-esteem can also be reduced by the power of a hug. In fact, research has found this to be true even when a hug is reduced to a one-second pat on the back.” Researchers discovered that the risk of infection was lower among those who felt they had strong support and who were hugged often. The study's lead author, psychologist Dr. Sheldon Cohen, told Psychological Science: “We know that people experiencing ongoing conflicts with others are less able to fight off cold viruses. We also know that people who report having social support are partly protected from the effects of stress on psychological states, such as depression and anxiety.” 4. Improved heart health Hugs also reach the heart; quite literally! Scientists from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill have found that better cardiovascular health is another powerful benefit of hugging. Their 2003 study showed that even a 20-second hug with a romantic partner had beneficial effects for the heart, including lowering blood pressure and improving the participants’ ability to deal with stress. This is hardly surprising, since hugging is the physical demonstration of affection. There are other studies that already hint at the link between affection and better cardiovascular health. Furthermore, it seems that women’s cardiovascular systems are particularly receptive to hugs. 5. Pain relief A warm embrace can also act as a pain reliever. In fact, the evidence to date has led researchers to consider hugging as a powerful form of therapeutic touch. In a 2004 study from Wichita State University and the Kansas Heart Hospital, the concept of therapeutic touch was tested on people who suffer from fibromyalgia, a condition that causes pain in bones and muscles. The results, published in Holistic Nursing Practice, were encouraging, as participants reported a statistically significant decrease in pain as well as an increase in quality of life. The results of the pilot study tested the effectiveness of six different therapeutic touch treatments and strongly suggests that therapeutic touch may be an effective treatment for relieving pain and improving quality of life in those with fibromyalgia and, perhaps, other pain-causing conditions. Never underestimate the power of a hug shutterstock/De Visu 6. Enhanced communication When learning about the benefits of hugging, we cannot forget that this action is also an alternative form of communication. As humans, and whether we realise it or not, we rely enormously on body language and non-verbal communication. Some studies have found that strangers were able to accurately communicate emotions ranging from fear to gratitude just by using different types of touch. Imagine the all positive emotions that can be communicated with the power of a hug! 7. Oxytocin release Last but not least, one of the benefits of hugging is that it increases the production of oxytocin, one of the happiness hormones responsible for creating that warm fuzzy feeling. The levels of oxytocin in our body rise when we touch or are physically close to someone, and this has been shown to prompt bonding and make us more trusting. Research is still ongoing on the powerful effect of oxytocin in our body, mind and emotions. For now, why not enjoy that oxytocin rush that comes after giving a hug? The takeaway: the benefits of hugging In an increasingly touch-averse world, physical contact can be a fantastic mood booster. The benefits of hugging range from better heart health to a higher ability to cope with pain, stress, low mood and disease. Hugs also communicate positive emotions and contribute to our happiness by strengthening our bonds with others. The power of hugging and human touch is backed by science and, best of all, giving or receiving hugs are free! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online Academy classes Learning | Compassion | Friendship Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Tue, 17 Jan 2023 09:19:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/the-world-of-real-dolls-a-deep-dive-into-functions-intimacy-and-the-unveiling-of-special-qualities-r436/In the ever-evolving landscape of human connection and intimacy, the advent of Real Dolls has been nothing short of a technological revolution. These lifelike companions, crafted with meticulous detail, offer an intriguing intersection of artistry, technology, and human desire. In this exploration, we delve into the functions, emotional significance, and unique qualities that make Real Dolls a phenomenon worthy of contemplation. The Anatomy of Real Dolls Real Dolls, or sex dolls, have come a long way from their early inflatable counterparts. Today, these high-end creations are made from premium materials such as silicone or TPE (thermoplastic elastomer), providing a remarkably realistic feel akin to human skin. The meticulous attention to detail extends to facial features, body structure, and even customizable elements such as eye color, hair texture, and clothing. Advanced skeletal structures, coupled with joints and articulations, allow for a wide range of poses and movements, enhancing the overall lifelike experience. Some models are equipped with heating elements, providing a realistic body temperature for an even more immersive encounter. This intricate design ensures that Real Dolls not only look but also feel remarkably close to the real thing. The Functions of Real Dolls Beyond their physical attributes, a Real Doll is engineered to provide a multifunctional experience, catering to various aspects of human intimacy. Functionality ranges from basic anatomical accuracy to more advanced features such as AI integration and interactive capabilities. Anatomical Accuracy: Real Dolls strive for anatomical precision, replicating the intricacies of the human body. This commitment to accuracy enhances the sensory experience, allowing users to engage in a more realistic and immersive interaction. AI Integration: Some Real Dolls are equipped with artificial intelligence, enabling them to engage in basic conversations, respond to stimuli, and adapt to user preferences over time. This feature adds an extra layer of depth to the companionship experience, creating a sense of connection. Interactive Features: Real Dolls may be designed with interactive components, including touch-sensitive sensors and responsive movements. These elements enhance the tactile experience, fostering a deeper sense of intimacy during interactions. The Emotional Significance The emotional significance of Real Dolls extends beyond their physical functions. For many users, these companions serve as more than just a means of physical satisfaction. They become vessels for emotional expression, providing solace, companionship, and understanding in a non-judgmental space. Companionship: Real Dolls are often sought as companions, offering a consistent and non-demanding presence. For individuals dealing with loneliness or social anxiety, these dolls can serve as a source of comfort and companionship. Exploration of Desires: Real Dolls provide a platform for individuals to explore their desires without societal judgment. Users can engage in a safe and private space, fostering self-discovery and personal growth. Therapeutic Applications: In certain cases, Real Dolls have found applications in therapy, helping individuals cope with trauma, anxiety, or emotional challenges. The non-judgmental nature of these companions offers a unique therapeutic outlet. The Unveiling of Special Qualities: Real Dolls, with their intricacies and advancements, possess special qualities that contribute to their uniqueness in the realm of intimacy. Customization: The ability to customize various aspects of a Real Doll, from physical appearance to personality traits in AI-equipped models, allows users to tailor their experience to their specific preferences and desires. Discreetness: Real Dolls provide a discreet and private outlet for intimate exploration. Users can engage in a personal experience without fear of judgment or societal scrutiny. Artistry and Craftsmanship: Real Dolls showcase a level of artistry and craftsmanship that elevates them beyond mere utilitarian objects. The attention to detail in their creation reflects a dedication to providing users with an aesthetically pleasing and emotionally resonant experience. Prices and Accessibility The cost of Real Dolls can vary significantly based on factors such as material quality, customization options, and additional features. High-end models equipped with advanced technology and lifelike features often come with a substantial price tag. However, as the industry continues to evolve, more affordable options have become available, making Real Dolls increasingly accessible to a broader audience. While the initial investment may be significant, proponents argue that the emotional and psychological benefits derived from the companionship and exploration Real Dolls offer justify the expense for many users. In conclusion, Real Dolls stand at the intersection of technology, art, and human desire, offering a multifaceted experience that goes beyond traditional notions of intimacy. Their functions and unique qualities contribute to a complex landscape where individuals navigate desires, companionship, and self-discovery. As society continues to evolve, so too will the role and perception of Real Dolls in the realm of human connection, challenging preconceived notions and providing an alternative avenue for exploring the intricacies of intimacy.Mon, 16 Jan 2023 23:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/january-blues-new-year-depression-beat-it/For many of us, once the festive holiday season is over the January blues start to set in. But there are ways you can fight back and feel better. Dee Marques shares seven ideas on beating those blues – from holiday planning and embracing winter activities to finding new hobbies. The January blues and new year period can be particularly tough on our mental health and lead to feelings of depression. After the excesses typical of the festive season, going back to the usual daily routine can be overwhelming. Personally, I've always thought about this time of the year as an expanded version of the Monday blues – something many of us go through on a weekly basis! Furthermore, during the new year, most of us also tend to take stock of our lives. This sometimes means realising that things haven't turned out as we expected or hoped. Perhaps we look back on past resolutions to find out that we weren’t able to maintain them, or we’re saddened by memories of people who are no longer with us. We've all had a few couple of years due to the pandemic, and this challenging period is likely to continue, perhaps intensifying the January blues. Also, a season of treats, big dinners and high alcohol consumption usually means we end up with a few extra inches or pounds and a negative body image. And having friends or relatives visiting can be lovely but it can also drain our energy and lead to confrontations or fall-outs. Added to that, intense gift-buying sessions may have left us with an empty bank account. In fact, research shows that the January blues and new year depression are a very real thing. Suicides peak on New Year’s day, considered the deadliest 24 hours of the year. Also, there are links between low morale at this time of the year and an increased number of extramarital affairs. In fact, 65 per cent of all relationship break-ups happen in January. How to find meaning in life: 7 strategies The 4 signs that distinguish feeling blue from depression 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes New year depression is so prevalent that it's led to the term Blue Monday being coined. This refers to the most depressing day of the year, and it’s calculated using a formula that takes into account three things: the weather, motivation levels and debt. 7 strategies to beating the January blues In 2023, Blue Monday will fall on 16th January. So, in preparation for this dreaded day and the month beyond, here are seven scientifically-proven ideas on how to beat those January blues. 1. Embrace winter activities Physical activity is a great mood booster that is proven to help fend off depression. And although exercising is probably the last thing you feel like doing at this time of the year, the benefits are so worth it that once you get going, you’ll want to keep going! Snow limits: wrap-up and embrace a winter walk shutterstock/Nik Hoberg Indeed, recent studies claim that both short sessions of high-intensity exercise or longer sessions of low-intensity activity are effective at keeping the blues at bay. And the season itself offers opportunities to try something new, whether it's snow sports like skiing, going for countryside or coastal walk in nature, or ice skating. The strong-willed among you may even want to consider a dose of winter wild swimming! But there are still options if you don’t feel like braving the cold: saunas, steam baths and hot yoga are all excellent for well-being and beating the misery January brings. 2. Take a trip Going on a trip is scientifically-proven to improve your mood and help you beat the January blues and new year depression, especially if it’s somewhere sunny. That's because our bodies create Vitamin D from sunlight, and this vitamin is directly linked to our mood. You don’t need to go on a long trip – even a weekend getaway can make a difference. “Going on a trip is scientifically-proven to improve your mood and help you beat the January blues, especially if it's somewhere sunny.” But what if your finances are tight after the holiday season? Fear not. Interestingly, the simple fact of just planning or researching a trip can improve your mood. Studies have found that pre-trip happiness acts as a mood booster, as it fills us with anticipation of good things to come. So, even though many of us may not be able to travel to sunny climes to avoid the January blues right now, we can at least get on the net and start researching where we want to go next. 3. Skip resolutions and take up a new hobby New Year resolutions can be a double-edged sword: on the one hand, they can motivate us, but since only 8 per cent of people follow them through, failing to achieve them can make us feel inadequate. To take the pressure off and still work towards something meaningful, why not take up a new hobby for one month only? The idea is to find something that inspires you and gets you through January. If you find yourself really enjoying it, you can then continue it for the rest of the year. 4. Warm up Never underestimate the healing effect of warmth, especially during the coldest months of the year. In fact, our bodies are meant to be comforted by warmth – this is why we seek the sun or find so much pleasure in our favourite cup of tea, coffee or chocolate. A hot choc can help beat the January blues shutterstock/igorstevanovic If you’re feeling down with the January blues, take your time to enjoy a long soak in a warm, relaxing bath (even better if you add some warming essential oils like rosemary, ginger or cardamom). According to researchers, even just touching something warm can give us a little happiness boost. 5. Find something fun to do with friends January’s bleak weather and lack of funds can make it very tempting to stay home and veg out all day. But instead of giving in to staying in, it’s worth finding ways of staying active and sociable. For example, collective plans or resolutions can help you stay accountable and motivated, making you more resilient to New Year depression. “Why not take up a new hobby for one month only? The idea is to find something that inspires you and gets you through the January blues. If you find yourself really enjoy it you can carry it on for the rest of the year.” And there are tons of activities you can enjoy with others without spending a lot of money. For example, you could gather at a friend’s home and learn a new dance using YouTube videos, organize healthy and budget-friendly cooking competitions, have a wardrobe clear out and swap session, or even have a go at geocaching. 6. Eat well When it comes to our diet, Christmas and New Year are usually synonymous with excess. Some of us love to indulge in mince pies, Christmas pudding, and other high-carb and high-sugar treats, but overeating these foods can lead to low energy and a dark mood typical of the January blues. To counter this, include nourishing good mood foods in every meal, especially those rich in omega-3 oils, which according to some studies can help fight pessimism and sadness. 7. Check for SAD If you're really struggling to keep a positive mindset or if your health is negatively affected every time January arrives, you may be suffering from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). This condition affects 10 million people in the US and 1 in 3 in the UK. The symptoms include irritability, tearfulness, low self-esteem, high stress, lethargy, and a loss of interest in things that we’d normally find enjoyable. It’s important to speak to your doctor if you suspect you may have SAD, since in some people this can evolve into depressive symptoms. You should know that treatment is available and you don’t need to let this type of January blues or depression take over. Your doctor may recommend Vitamin D supplements, using a light therapy box, going for walks whenever there’s sunlight, or in some cases, medication. Conclusion: you can beat the January blues This winter, don’t let the January blues spoil your mood and well-being. Use the suggestions above to prevent the symptoms from developing, and if you find yourself struggling despite your best efforts, seek help. You’re not alone and every step you take to beat the winter blues will be a worthwhile investment in your overall physical and mental health. ● Main image: shutterstock/Marjan Apostolovic Do you struggle with the January blues? If so, head over to our forum on depression. What do you to fight back against depressive symptoms over winter? Share your ideas below! happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Resilience | Self-care | Goal setting | Anxiety Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Tue, 03 Jan 2023 08:27:00 +0000